P: Afraid Of Forever T: Afraid/ Happy/ Worried

14 1 0
                                    

Date: 3.12.2013

Intro: Jean and I hung out all day

Tone: Afraid, Happy, Worried

It scares me to know that I said, "I love you."

I'm afraid of myself and my capabilities

Ya see darlin

Ever since we've been together I've been as estatic as can be

And that worries me

Because this whole time

I've struggle to get up

Because right now

I've never been

And I've always been told

It's okay to be, unhappy

Which is what I've always been

looking forward to

I'm afraid, I'm afraid that I

am starting to trust you

My heart. It chants , "Oh I'm feelin' good."

But my insecurities keep haunting me

And telling me

That I shouldn't

And I-

Want to believe

this heart of mine

But that hasn't always led me down

The path of eternal happiness

But I guess it's alright

I don't have to

Because, right now

I'm happy

So I sit here

And struggle

I asked you

And now I'm in trouble

Ive got what

I've asked for

Now what?

I have no clue

Our friendship will never be the same

From now on I hate to play with a new deck of cards

But the rules have changed and since that day

And I hope I can get it through to you

About how it's okay

to just be you

I'm afraid

Don't take it personal

I'm just afraid

That's just how things are going to go

The truth is that I want to trust

The reality is

I'm afraid

Conclusion: I'm Jean's first. She's my second. (Officially anyway haha...) Jean is really awkward right now in this relationship but to all honesty it's a funny awkward. Jean liked me in middle school and told me that she did at that time. At first I was creeped out by it because she annoyed me back then. Now, I kind of just dealt with her. I asked her on the 18th but she said yes on the 19th. So far, I love being with her. At first I didn't want anyone to know but Jean's 'Best' friend told everyone they saw for the following days. I'm really happy that people ask me if Jean and I are going out rather than just gossiping. (Wel, Good Night for now)

Atonement?Where stories live. Discover now