Date: 3.12.2013
Intro: Jean and I hung out all day
Tone: Afraid, Happy, Worried
It scares me to know that I said, "I love you."
I'm afraid of myself and my capabilities
Ya see darlin
Ever since we've been together I've been as estatic as can be
And that worries me
Because this whole time
I've struggle to get up
Because right now
I've never been
And I've always been told
It's okay to be, unhappy
Which is what I've always been
looking forward to
I'm afraid, I'm afraid that I
am starting to trust you
My heart. It chants , "Oh I'm feelin' good."
But my insecurities keep haunting me
And telling me
That I shouldn't
And I-
Want to believe
this heart of mine
But that hasn't always led me down
The path of eternal happiness
But I guess it's alright
I don't have to
Because, right now
I'm happy
So I sit here
And struggle
I asked you
And now I'm in trouble
Ive got what
I've asked for
Now what?
I have no clue
Our friendship will never be the same
From now on I hate to play with a new deck of cards
But the rules have changed and since that day
And I hope I can get it through to you
About how it's okay
to just be you
I'm afraid
Don't take it personal
I'm just afraid
That's just how things are going to go
The truth is that I want to trust
The reality is
I'm afraid
Conclusion: I'm Jean's first. She's my second. (Officially anyway haha...) Jean is really awkward right now in this relationship but to all honesty it's a funny awkward. Jean liked me in middle school and told me that she did at that time. At first I was creeped out by it because she annoyed me back then. Now, I kind of just dealt with her. I asked her on the 18th but she said yes on the 19th. So far, I love being with her. At first I didn't want anyone to know but Jean's 'Best' friend told everyone they saw for the following days. I'm really happy that people ask me if Jean and I are going out rather than just gossiping. (Wel, Good Night for now)
YOU ARE READING
Atonement?
PoetryWe all have regrets. We all smile. We all frown. Sometimes all we need is an encouraging word from others or seeing that someone else is also going through pain to understand one's self. In this book which consist of poems, entries, and thoughts the...