{Trigger warning: This story deals with a lot of serious topics and situations. Heavy detail is included. Ranges from sexual assault, domestic violence, abuse of psychical and emotional, self harm, and suicide. Read with caution, this is your only w...
{Trigger warning. ⛔️ This whole story is but I thought I'd give an extra heads up with this since it'll be the first time I'll be going into extreme detail of events of what's happened to Y/n. Again read with caution ⚠️}
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People caring. I wasn't used to it. I feel like that was a give me the moment I started talking to Diane. The moment Andy found me.
"I'm really glad you called," Diane says easily. I nod, keeping my eyes on the floor of the office. I clench my jaw, feeling my leg begin to bounce up and down.
"I'm sorry for running out yesterday. It was a lot," I say truthfully. Out of the top of my eyes I see Diane nodding, understandably. "I was scared."
"That's a normal response, Y/n," Diane speaks with ease, kindness.
I nod. "I talked to Andy last night. And I... Im just trying to grasp reality."
Diane slowly nods her head up and down. "I hope you know that all any of us wants is to help you. To help navigate all your feelings. My job is to help with your thoughts as well. And I know you have a lot going on up inside that head that you've probably tried to rid of. All the trauma suppressed. You don't have to do that. Not now."
"I don't want to relive it all. I just want to forget," I whisper, my eyes slowly raising to meet Diane's.
"We all want to forget our past. Especially the parts that caused us the most pain, but you're only causing more harm to yourself, more of that pain because you're not talking about it. I know it's hard. I know you don't want to relive it. But the more you talk about it, the easier it's going to be. You won't forget it. Unfortunately it's part of your story. It'll always be part of your story but you're in a new chapter. A new beginning."
"Then why talk about it?"
Diane tilts her head.
"You talk about it to ease some of the pain. Keeping it all inside causes harm to you both mentally and also physically-" Diane pauses. "It may not seem like it and it might feel like you have control over it, but overall in the long run it's hurting. I know it is."
"It hurts like hell," I whisper. Diane nods her head. "I just want it to stop."
"It will, over time. Talking about it helps Y/n. But it's going to take time. Talking about it helps you get a better understanding of how you're really thinking."
"Can you call Andy in here?" I ask and Diane gives a small smile.
"Are you sure?" Diane asks. My eyes go to the ground thinking for a moment before nodding my head up and down.
"I'm sure."
Diane slowly stands and heads out of the office leaving me alone. I cup my hands together realizing how bad I was shaking. My leg bounces up and down swiftly, rapidly. My heart beats like a very fact drummer beating on the drum sets. An unsteady breath escapes my lips and I feel my eyes close. A sort of darkness taking over as I nod my head up and down focusing on my breathing. I could feel my heart trying to rip from my chest.
