Into the Flames {Station 19 x you}

fourty-four: begin again

"How's that feel?" Carina asks, poking around at my stomach. I wince with each touch and shrug. "Okay-" The woman removes her hands and places them on the edge of the bed. Her eyes looking directly at mine. "I can't help if you don't talk to us. You've been in the hospital for a couple days. You won't talk to me or Amelia or Dr. Grey or Bailey. We're trying to make sure you're okay Y/n and we can't do that if you don't tell us how everything really feels."

I stare at her. Her thick Italian accent coming through as she spoke. I know she was fed up with my behavior. I know she's trying so hard. They all are and I don't know. Again, something's off. With me.

"If you won't talk to me at least talk to Andy," Carina says glancing to the door. She removes her gloves and heads to the door. My eyes slowly follow her but stop when I see Andy coming closer in a wheelchair. I look away immediately. It's not the first time I'm seeing her since I pretty much passed out. She's been in here a couple days. I went in her room and just sat while she slept. Jack had to help me in there.

"Hey Mija, how are you feeling?" Andy asks and I shrug, my fingers tracing the cast that's since been signed. "Jack said you haven't really been talking. We don't have to. We can just lay and watch tv, stare at the ceiling if you want."

"Okay," I whisper, continuing to look at the cast. Out of the corner of my eyes I see her weakly push herself up out of the wheelchair. I pick up my head and go to speak but she gives me a small reassuring smile as she pushes to get up and onto the bed. My mind was screaming at me to say something. To tell her to take it easy. That I should get help. She was in pain still. She was shot. She's going to hurt. She went through surgery. I hate this. But all I do is scoot over in the bed to make room for her.

She carefully gets up and lays back. My eyes following her and I tilt my head as I feel her arm wrap around me and patiently wait for a moment. "It's okay. You can lay back," she whispers kindly. I look away from her and look forward. My brain scrambling for something but nothing comes to mind as I slowly and carefully lay back feeling her arm slowly wrap around me and bring me into a small, yet warm hug before grabbing the blanket and pulling it up over us.

"See... This is good. Maybe a nice movie. Say, I don't know, let's see what's on-" Andy pauses and winces as she reaches for the remote. I clench my jaw looking at the tv. The room was slightly dark due to the rainy day. The clouds darkening the sky. The blinds slightly pulled from where I asked Amelia to pull it earlier today.

"Oh here we go, this is a good one. It's called The Lion King. It's more of a cartoon but it's good." I nod slowly on her chest feeling like me laying on her is hurting her. But the room falls silent. The movie plays. The sound of rain begins again and I feel the woman kiss the top of my head, snuggling closer to me. And I felt safe but something was off.

"Damn it!" A voice shouted as I feel something kick my back. I jump awake and lean up against the wall, bringing up the blanket to my chest. Andy's curly hair is slightly seen in my vision, through the dark. I clench the blankets and my bear and feel my body gently shake.

"Andy I'm sorry," I whisper like somebody else was here. It was only us two. Andy moves off of her knees and sits turning her head to me. Her eyes wide as she glances around slowly moving her head back to me. Our eyes lock and her brown eyes raise with concern and questions. But then her eyes meet with the teddy bear.

"You're sleeping with your bear again?" She whispers. The sadness in her eyes making my chest pound. I nod and look down.

"Jack brought it to the hospital. I needed it. I need it now," I whisper back. Out of the top of my eyes I see Andy drop her head. Both of the stay quiet. No words exchanged for what seemed like a long period of time.