Into the Flames {Station 19 x you}

fifty: finally talking

"Could be worse," I whisper, being the first to speak breaking the silence between us. "Much worse."

Andy takes her brown eyes off of the door from what I see out of the corner of my eye. She turns her head towards me but I keep my eyes on the floor. My arms wrapped around my knees that have since been drawn to my chest.

"I'm sorry Mija," Andy whispers. "This isn't right."

I shrug. She's right it's not, but we have to talk. I don't, crazy enough, see it any other way. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip and turn my head towards Andy. Our eyes lock.

"He hurt you... The way he's hurt me," I whisper barely. A shift changes in Andy's eyes. They sink and that's all I need to know to. I knew he did but I wanted confirmation. I tear my eyes from the woman and look down at myself. A sigh escapes my lips as I drop my knees down, letting them extend out. My arms falling to the side for a split second. I reach up and lift my shirt up. Out of the corner of my eye I see Andy's eyes glued to me. I look down at the bruising. I didn't anything on it today. I haven't been for a couple days. Carina told me to let it breathe sometimes. I forgot to put it back on.

    "Y/n..." Andy whispers. My eyes look at the cigarette burns and the bruising from his damn boot. I clench my jaw. That burning feeling of tears threatening me arising and I have to shake my head. My chest racing as I drop my shirt and go to the sleeves, rising them up. The burns from the rope still visible. The marks up and down my arms stable. The cast my arm still has full of names. Underneath I can only imagine what it could look like. Before they even put a cast on it, it looked brutal.

    Slowly, carefully I see Andy's hand come into view. Her finger tips trail along my wrist before she takes my hand into her own. I pull my sleeves down, my eyes avoiding her but not for long. Her other hand lifts up and I feel her pointer finger and thumb pinch my chin, moving my head up. She lifts it and that's when our eyes lock. Tears slide down her cheeks and I feel sick suddenly.

     "Baby girl...." she whispers. "What he did to us doesn't define us."

     "He's dead yet he's not Andy."

    A shaky breathe escapes her lips. "When he took me out of the room. He took me into another and he threw me around. He kept shouting. Repeating himself over and over. Telling me things I know wasn't true but in that moment, it stung what he said. But all the pain he was causing... I became numb and my mind only wanted to make sure you were okay. Only wanted to make sure you got out."

     I stare at Andy. Tears in both of our eyes now. My stomach twists.

    "When he was about to take me back, I tried to take him down. The small amount of adrenaline I had somehow got me to get up and get a couple hits in before he-he tossed me back and down me again. He got some type of sponge thing and somehow shocked me with it repeatedly-" Andy's voice shakes as her hand drops from my chin. Her teary brown eyes never leave mine. But I know she wants me to look down. Slowly, I blink and I'm looking down to her stomach where her hand is shaky as she holds up her shirt to reveal a giant mark. Colors of blue, black and purple and red surround the side. My eyes go wide, my lips separate. Quivering. My chest racing fast as I shake my head.

   "Oh my god," I whisper, moving away from her. But she notices. I stare at the mark. I can't even imagine how it felt. She lets go of the end of her shirt and lets it drop. That's when I notice the small marks on her wrists, similar to mine. Both of ours healing but it's weird to see it on her. I clench my jaw and force myself to look away. Tears sliding down my cheeks as Andy reaches over grabbing my hand. I shake my head. "I didn't know... Wh-Why wouldn't you tell me?"