Into the Flames {Station 19 x you}

fourty-seven: for a brief moment

Silence fills the room as Andy places Y/n's teddy bear next to the sleeping girl. A blanket covers her, Andy made sure of it. Y/n fell asleep in Andy's arms just 10 minutes ago. Andy couldn't bring herself to leave just yet till she was sure Y/n was okay even though Y/n admittedly said she wasn't... But after placing the bear she stands up straight, crossing her arms over her chest. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip shaking her head as she backs away and heads to the bedroom. She walks to the bathroom, dropping her arms from her chest that heaves up and down.

She grabs the counter top. Her eyes close as her head shakes from side to side. Tears make there way out from her tired, sad eyes.

Y/n's words of "I'm not okay mommy," rings through Andy's head over and over again. The pain, sadness, hurt and guilt lingering in the child's voice was heard. Very heard. The sound made Andy's skin crawl and she can't help but to blame herself. It was her fault for the child's feelings. For all the pain in that girl's life. It was her fault. She's the one that gave her up. She's the one that forgot all about the child. But Andy did it for the girl's best chance. She never could have known this would be the child's life. That Y/n would endure so much hurt and pain in her life. Not for 15 years. She doesn't deserve that. She's a child.

Andy sniffs and reaches her hand up, wiping at her eyes feeling the tears soak her shaky hand. She was lost. She is lost and she didn't know what to do. There's protocols to follow as a firefighter when someone attempts or feels the way her daughter feels but this is her daughter. This is her baby girl and she can't go through with those protocols.

Ring. Ring. Ring

Andy jumps and drops her hand from her face swiftly reaching into her pocket and pulling out her ringing phone. Jack's name appears on the phone.

"Hey Jack," Andy speaks, her voice cracking slightly as she places the phone to her ear.

"Hey, I'm outside the door. Is everything okay?" Jack asks, the genuine concern in his voice noticeable. Andy shakes her head and throws her head back.

"No, it's not and I don't... I don't know what to do Jack," Andy whispers into the phone.

"About kiddo?" Jack asks, his voice lowers and Andy nods. Her eyes closing, tears beginning to slip now. Even though she's been trying her hardest to stay strong.

"She's not okay Jack. She's not okay and I.. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to help and I want to help. I want to take all her pain and make it my own-" Andy pauses and turns around, leaning against the sink. She crosses her free arm over her chest. Her eyes locking onto the ground. "She doesn't deserve this pain. Not any of it. She's a child. She's my baby."

Jack stays quiet for a moment. Before he finally lets a shaky breath escape his lips. "Let me inside Andy."

"Okay..." Andy breathes out and heads out of the bathroom. She pulls the phone from her ear and slides it into her back pocket. She heads out of the room seeing Y/n still asleep on the couch. Arms wrapped around the bear and the blanket still over top of her. Andy bites her bottom lip and goes to the door unlocking it then quietly opening it.

The moment the door opens and Andy's eyes lock with Jack's she feels her stomach twist and she shakes her head. Jack instantly walks through the door, grabbing it out of Andy's grasp and shutting it. He reaches out and wraps his arms around the woman, holding her tightly. Andy doesn't hesitate to wrap her arms around the man tightly while she buries her head into his shoulder. She squeezes her eyes together tightly. Jack keeps her close, looking down.

"Don't leave," Andy whispers. Jack shakes his head.

"I'm not," Jack whispers back. He looks up from the ground and to the child on the couch. Y/n still asleep as he nods and looks down, squeezing the woman gently. "I'm not going anywhere."

<<<<>>>>

"Here drink this," Jack says setting down a cup of coffee in front of a spaced out Andy. Andy stares at the mug as Jack sits down beside the spaced out girl. He told Vic to take off with the ambulance while he stayed. Sick day he claimed with the captain.

Andy cups her arms together, hugging herself as she leans against the counter. Jack glances away from her, over to the living room where Y/n still lay on the couch asleep. A small smile tugs on the man's lips as he turns his head away and to the ground.

"I can't send her away, put her in a place that's unknown to her. She can't go away," Andy whispers. Jack's head moving up immediately, tilting his head. His smile fading. "She barely has gotten used to here, the station, school. She'll think I'm giving up on her."

"Andy, you don't need to follow protocol. You're not a fire fighter right now. You're a mother-" Jack pauses, moving around in his seat. He faces Andy, leaning against the counter himself. His green eyes focused on the woman's side profile seeing the sadness and pain radiating off of her. Her clenches his jaw and reaches over, placing his hand on her back, rubbing small circles on her back. "We can help her."

"Jack how?" Andy whispers, closing her eyes. The defeat in her voice sending chills down Jack's back as he shakes his head.

"We'll figure it out. We always do don't we?" Jack whispers back. "You have a whole team behind you. A loving, caring family behind you. You're not alone in this. And neither is Y/n. We'll help her if she lets us."

Andy slowly opens her eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of." She turns her head, locking eyes with Jack's soft ones before glancing behind him to her daughter. "I'm afraid she'll push us away. She'll bottle herself up so much that she won't let us help because that's what's she's used to doing."

"Then we find a way to get her to let us in. We take it day by day. Moment by moment. That's all we can do Andy."

Andy's eyes slowly trail away from Y/n and to Jack. "What if it's not enough? What if she... She..." Andy closes her eyes and reaches her hand up to her mouth, covering it slightly with her fingers. Jack stops rubbing circles on the woman's back and shakes his head. He moves his hand up and around Andy's shoulders, pulling her towards him. He gently places his head against her's. Andy's breathing unsteady, tears slowly slipping down her cheeks as Jack looks at her.

"We won't let her," Jack whispers. "We'll protect her Andy. You just have to trust that."

"She tried to hurt herself Jack. She... If she's having those thoughts it could get worse and she could-"

"Hey, hey look at me," Jack says, cutting Andy off. He picks up his other hand and cups Andy's cheek. Andy's eyes open slowly. Her teary eyes meet Jack's green ones. "She's not going to. We got her. You hear me? We're going to help her no matter what it takes."

"Thank you," Andy breathes out as she picks up her arms and wraps them around Jack. He nods into the woman's shoulder and wraps his own arms around her, securing her.

"Always Herrera. Always." Andy bites her bottom lip and for a moment they sit there. They hug for a long moment before Andy slowly pulls away but not too far. Just enough to meet Jack's eyes for a second. The two flick their eyes back and forth between each other, till Andy shakes her head and pushes herself forward locking her lips with Jack's.