Into the Flames {Station 19 x you}

twenty-three: good outweighs the bad

{Three Days Later}

I tense, letting my finger tips drag along the bruising. The warm water hitting against my bare skin. Everything was healing. It was odd looking at myself without fresh bruising or cuts or burns. But I liked it better this way. Not getting hurt. Not thinking in going to die every second of every day. It's safe. I'm safe. Andy says it almost everyday it feels like.

"Hey kiddo," Andy's voice rings from the door over the water. My eyes pop open, I didn't even realize they were closed. I gently take the curtain and pull it back some poking my head around to see the door opening a bit. Andy's head sticking in. I give a small smile and see her smile back opening the door a bit more, stepping half her body in. "I know you're showering i just wanted to make sure you were alright. You were washing the bruises and stuff."

Her voice is soft. Concerned. It's been like this since the meeting with Diane. We had sat there for what seemed like hours. Really it was a half hour before Bishop came on and pried Andy off of me. She barely leaves me alone for 5 minutes now. It's cool. I know it was a lot to take in but it's somewhat suffocating. I knew this would happen. The moment I informed her about what I went through, of course that wasn't everything but it was a lot of it. The endless cycles of things.

"I-I'm fine," I say feeling my voice crack slightly. The warm water still hitting my skin, keeping me warm but chills cover my body. "I'm taking care of everything."

"Okay, th-that's good. Let me know if you need help with the bandages."

"I will. Thanks."

I hear slight movement, but she stays standing at the door. I bite my lip and look away, still feeling the warm water hitting me. "Is there something else Andy?"

"Hm. Oh no. No, I'm just... I don't know," she barely can get out. I look back at her seeing her smile slightly before tossing up her hand and stepping out, pulling the door shut leaving me alone with only the sound of the full blast water bursting from the shower head.

My leg bounces up and down swiftly. My pen flicks back and forth in my hand as I stare down at the drawing.

"Well that's dark," Caroline says sitting down beside me. I loosely smile, nodding. The image was dark. All I could draw was the darkness since my talk with Andy and Diane. It was bothering me. All of it was. Andy's eyes, every time she looks at me they're soft and sad, but she wears a smile on her face. She takes her time to think of what she wants to say to me just in case I get triggered by it. I don't like it. I don't want that.

"Yoo hoo, Y/n, what's going on up inside that brain of yours?" Caroline asks, poking the side of my head gently. I blink and slightly turn my head towards the girl.

"Sorry," I say simply and shrug, placing the pen down, letting my eyes trail the image again.

"You okay? You seem off? More off than usual," Caroline says and I nod.

"I told Andy what happened to me along with Diane," I say and see Caroline focus her gaze on me.

"Diane is the therapist?"

I nod. "Yeah."

"Damn. I assume it didn't go too hot considering the drawings." Caroline points to the page and I shrug my shoulders. My head shaking from side to side.

"I honestly have no idea. It just... Maybe I'm just crazy."

"Honey we're all crazy," Caroline says, placing her hand on my shoulder. "What's going on though?"