Into the Flames {Station 19 x you}

fifty-five: short dirty drink

     The music wasn't loud outside. Not as much like it was when Caroline and I showed up. It was quite nice outside in the backyard. Little to no people. The breeze chilly but relaxing. The moon and stars lit up the sky from what I can see. It was... Is beautiful.

    I took a step out, told Care I needed fresh air while she continued dancing. I felt tired. Sleepy. But like it was a weird type of sleepiness. Something didn't feel right. Though... I still couldn't get over the fact I told her I love her. I just said it. It escapes from my lips just like that. Now that's terrifying.

    A low sigh escapes from my lips now as I step off the porch spotting Joey's hair sticking up out by the fire that's slowly going on. Flames burn up in the air. Embers of red and orange burn brightly as I walk up and take a seat beside the guy.

    "Hey," Joey says, glancing towards me. I smile lightly, hunching over feeling instantly tired the moment I sit.

   "Hey... Why aren't you inside?" I ask, watching him turn his head away. His shoulders rising then falling just as fast.

    "This party was more for Tuck than for me," Joey shrugs, using the long stick to poke at the fire. I watch him poke at the logs making the fire roar. I look away, to the ground. I've grown to hate fire even if it's saved my life. Twice. But also, almost ended it.

    "Oh..."

  "Ask what you want to ask Y/n." He's snippy and I look at him. I clench my jaw and shake my head from side to side.

    "Are you okay? You've been off for a w-while. You're fighting w-with Caroline. I just-"

    "You were taken hostage and almost killed. You wouldn't see me or Tuck. You wouldn't answer my calls. Caroline and I are fighting because of you," Joey lays on thick. My eyes go wide and I tear my eyes from the boy, to the fire. My heart sinking. My eyes closing for a second. I have to force myself to open them. "I'm sorry... It's just.. Caroline won't tell us what happened with you the other day. You won't either. And that dude showing up the other day raised some flags. I'm worried about you." 

    "Join the party," I whisper, twiddling my thumbs for a second. Then I'm beginning to pick at the skin. It's become a nasty bad habit. I close my eyes again. My stomach twisting a bit. This feeling of drowsiness might win. But I fight it. "That guy by the way...He's my birth father and I just found out so did he."

    "So, he shows up to your school offering you a ride?" Joey questions. I open my eyes and see out of the corner of my eye his brown eyes focused on me. One brow raised. 

    I shrug. "He wants to get to know me but doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon."

    "Did he hurt you?" Joey asks without hesitation. I shake my head no. "Did he try to?" I shake my head no. "Did he say something?" 

    "No Joey," I finally speak, my voice quivers in a breath. I lick my lips and shake my head from side to side. "It doesn't matter, it's just not going to happen." 

    "Like you not being able to be alone. Somebody has to be with you at all times?" My eyes go wide, struggling with it a bit. They feel groggy. Heavy. But I finally turn my head to him. He's not looking at me now. His own eyes focused on the fire now. I shake my head from side to side. 

     "Why are you being like this? This i-isn't the J-Joey I know." 

     Joey's shoulders rise and fall swiftly. 

   I shake my head and stand up, clenching my jaw. "I can't be alone because Andy's afraid I'll try and kill myself considering I already tried. Happy now?" 

    I shake my head seeing the boy's face soften and his brows raise as his eyes fill with shock. His lips separate to speak but no words come out. I nod and walk away from him, back to the house. A low sigh escaping my lips as I get further away from him. My body feels shaky, my nerves through the roof. There's this funny feeling in my throat now. That feeling you get when you're about to throw up. Oh god. 

    Swiftly I turn to my right and hunch over as throw up just spills out. I feel sick to my stomach as vomit sprawls out. 

     "Y/n!" Two voices shout. I bend down getting a break then feel it come again. My eyes squeeze shut, my breathes shaky and uneven. Tears form in my eyes. A hand is on my back, rubbing in circles. I stop and shake my head as somebody else rushes over and hands me a towel. 

    "You okay?" Caroline's voice asks and I nod, wiping at my mouth. 

    "Let's take her to my room where she can rest a second," Joey's voice follows.

    "We need to get her home," Caroline says and Joey sighs. 

    "Andy would kill us if she knew we had a party with alcohol. Then my parents would kill me again for throwing said party," Joey says. "Wait a second, Y/n?"

    "Hm?" I hum, trying to focus on my breathing. We're in the house now, heading up the stairs. Both Joey and Caroline keeping me up right. I feel so pathetic. I feel like a burden once again. This always happens. Always. Somebody's always taking care of me. I always have eyes on me. I need a break. 

     "Did you drink anything?" Joey asks as I'm sat down on a bed. It's cushiony at first then hard. 

    I nod at his question. 

    "I gave her a coke," Caroline answers, stepping back. I look up at the two of them slightly then down at my hands. 

     "I drank more than just coke," I admit in a whisper. I could feel their eyes burning into me. All of me. 

    "Y/n," Caroline gently said. It felt like she was disappointed. I only did it earlier to fit in. Everybody else was doing it. I also wanted to feel something different. 

    "What did you drink specifically because you shouldn't be throwing up like that unless well-" Joey pauses and I shrug. 

     "I did it when Care turned away for a second. Went to the bathroom or something. I grabbed a red solo cup and poured some I think tequila in. I sat it down when I thought Caroline was coming back in. And I... I did walk away at one point," I say remembering slightly. 

     "Somebody probably did something to it," Joey says, disbelief in his voice. 

    "Jesus christ," Caroline whispers placing her hands on her hips. Confliction in her eyes. I, on the other hand lay back and close my eyes. The world kind of spinning now. "Y/n? Y/n." I feel hands on my cheeks, someone caressing them. Soft, delicate hands. It could only be Caroline. A small smile lingers onto my lips as her thumbs rub back and forth. 

    "It'll be fine. Andy's at work, so is Ben. She can sleep it off here," Joey whispers. 

     "We can't leave her here. Whoever drugged the drink was probably waiting or tried to do it to somebody elses drink," Caroline says. 

    "Shit... I'm texting Tuck. Stay here, I'm going to make sure nothing funny's going on. I'll be b-" Before Joey could finish his sentence I felt my whole world go dark. My body goes numb, and the realm of sleep takes over.