Into the Flames {Station 19 x you}

fourty-three: feelings & secrets

{2 Months Later}

"Thank you for calling me," Andy's voice says to the principal. I clench my jaw as my eyes look at my stupid cast that still has yet to be removed. My arm is still healing. It was broken in three different places. The bruising didn't help anything either. "Come on Mija."

I pick up my head and walk with Andy down the hall. I hold onto my book bag strap and shake my head. I was supposed to ease myself bs k into school. Andy had a meeting with my teachers and the principal. I was supposed to just be in one class room with one teacher to catch up. Which is what happened until I asked to use the restroom. I went out and I don't know what the hell happened.

"Okay, what's going on?" Andy asks as we get to the car and inside. I sit in the passenger seat, shaking my head. "Y/n, don't tune me out like that. Come on. What's going on?" Andy sits in the car and I shake my head.

"Nothing. It's nothing," I say, leaning back into the seat. A low sigh escapes the woman's lips as she starts the car and starts driving. It was my second day back at school and this is the second time Andy's had to pick me up. It's been different since the kidnapping. Since the hospital. Jack's been over a lot more than before. This Ryan guy has also been over. Andy and I haven't really talked about what happened either. I avoid it. She avoids it. But we both know it's there. There's no denying it, just avoidance.

I clench my jaw and Andy pulls the car up outside of the house. I grab my bag and open the door, exiting the vehicle. I can hear her go to say something but doesn't get the chance as I shut the door heading towards the sidewalk.

"Where are you going?" Andy asks and I stop and shrug.

"To the station. I have an appointment with Diane," I say, feeling the woman's eyes on me.

"Not till we talk about this," Andy says as I feel her hand gently grab mine. I jump and turn around, facing her. Her eyes soften as she tilts her head. I look away from her and shake my head.

"Now you want to talk? We haven't talked about anything in 2 months," I say.

"Y/n-"

"The only thing we actually talked about was me going off on the doctors and Jack. That was it!" I raise my voice and I feel bad but it's been happening more and more.

"Hey you two!" A warm voice speaks causing my eyes to glance past Andy to meet with Ryan's smiling face. He wasn't in cop clothes. Regular clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt. I look away from him and to Andy.

"I'll be home later," I mumble and turn on my heels.

"Y/n wait!" Andy speaks and I feel her fingers wrap around my wrist. I tug away, freeing my arm as I head down the sidewalk. I hear Andy and Ryan's faint voice as I walk getting further and further away. I don't know what's wrong with me. I couldn't figure out anything. I'm just alone, with my thoughts. I can't even talk to Diane. It's like I closed myself off all over again.

I've been seeing Diane once a week since we got free of the hospital. I overheard Andy and Jack talking saying I needed to go maybe twice a week. Even Ryan said something and I just met the dude briefly. Him and Andy used to date or something. I sort of zoned out when they were talking. But there's no point in going twice a week. I don't even talk to the woman. She tries but I can't seem to find my words or being up what's happened. I guess I'm no better than Andy at this.