Into the Flames {Station 19 x you}

thirty-four: gay talk part II

{The next day}

Footsteps appear at the door way as I work on homework that I've missed from the past 5 days. My head shoots up and my eyes lock with blue ones. I clench my jaw and drop my head as I hear the door close. My breathes grow heavy and I move my pencil off of the page and twist and twirl it in my hand. Out of the top of my eyes I see Caroline turn back to facing me. Her eyes staring at me.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Caroline asks, her voice different. I slowly pick up my head but avoid looking at her nodding. My chest is beating so damn fast. It's physically hurting. My body is shaking as I hear her come closer. "You hurt your head. Joey said you were drinking."

I nod. That's all I can do as I stare down at the homework in front of me. But I could still see the girl out of the corner of my eye.

"It's not my fault right?"

I shake my head.

"You know, it seems like it's my fault though. You know? Because you're avoiding eye contact, you're not talking and you've avoided me since the party. Please, Y/n-" She pauses and I bite my bottom lip as I drop my pencil. "He didn't mean anything."

My breathes pause sharply. I flinch at the feeling and sit there. Caroline slides into the seat beside me. "I saw your face when you saw me on top of him like that. I- I don't want to hurt you."

I stay quiet, clenching my jaw again as I turn away from the girl, reaching into my bag. I pull out the sketch pad paper that's nicely placed in a plastic folder carefully placing it on the table and sliding it to the girl beside me. My eyes slowly follow it and I catch a glimpse of Caroline's eyes go wide then settle, softening.

"It hurt seeing you with somebody," I whisper not meaning to. "I never felt... pain like that in my chest before. Or the nerves in my body. But I want you to be happy."

"Y/n..." She breathes. Her fingers trace the drawing. Her eyes settled on it. I take the chance and lift my head and my eyes meeting her side profile. I could see her light freckles from here. The blueness of her eyes were bright, deep and beautiful. And as I was admiring she turns her head. Our eyes locking instantly and I can't turn away.

"I don't want to lose you," I whisper flicking my eyes between her blue ones. She tilts her head. "I- I like you more than a friend way."

Silence takes over us. Both of us staring at one another before within a blink of an eye her lips are against mine. I had no idea what to do but my body did. My lips kiss her back. My eyes squeeze shut instantly. My hands stay on the table as her hands cup my cheeks in the palm of her hands. Our heads tilt to the side in opposite directions, deepening the kiss.

She has soft lips. Delicate lips. She was gentle, kind as she kissed me. Not forcing anything. It felt good. Better than I ever thought. I've never been kissed like this. I don't know if I've ever been kissed actually.

Slowly she breaks away. Our lips slowly pulling apart like bread being pulled apart. My eyes remain closed for a second feeling her thumbs rub back and forth on my cheeks. The warmth of her hands against my skin made me feel happy. Warm. Light. Much like it did when I was hugged by Andy. But this was different. A different feeling. Similar but also so different.

I flutter open my eyes and lock with Caroline's. Her lips spread to a smile as she tilts her head. Her right hand moves down my cheek and her thumb gently glides over my bottom lip. I flinch and she chuckles lightly.

"I think I bit your lip when I kissed you," she whispers softly. I can't help the smile that curves onto my lips. I try to stop it but can't. I didn't even feel her bite me. All I felt was the softness, the warmth of her lips that I miss now that they're no longer against my own. What the hell is this feeling?

"That's okay," I breathe out, looking down at her lips seeing slight blood on her lip. Her thumb graces back over my bottom lip before slowly sliding back to my cheek.

"I thought it was clear I like you too, but I didn't want to say anything in case it was too much on you considering everything you e been going through," Caroline whispers, dropping one hand and grabbing my right hand. Her hand squeezing lightly but deeply. "I thought you needed a friend more than anything."

"I think I just need you," I whisper causing both of our eyes to go wide. My lips separate to say something but I don't even know what I'm going to say, so I don't say anything at all. Instead we both just stare at one another. Almost as if we were bound to one another.

"So what's this mean now?" I shake my head at her question.

"I have no idea."