{Trigger warning: This story deals with a lot of serious topics and situations. Heavy detail is included. Ranges from sexual assault, domestic violence, abuse of psychical and emotional, self harm, and suicide. Read with caution, this is your only w...
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"You pushed him?" Caroline asks, her eyes wide. I nod my head as we head to this house party. We usually don't go. But Joey and Tuck were throwing one. Bailey was working a night shift and so was Ben. So the house was free. Andy just thought I was going home after school. Caroline was going to "spend the night", but in all reality that's not the case. Andy just doesn't want me to be alone. But since I said Caroline would be there then going home instead of the station was fine.
"I thought he was going to hit her. Jack said Ryan would never do that," I shrug, looking around. Caroline's arm wrapped around mine as we walk down the sidewalk. Her on the inside, me on the outside of the street.
"Do you believe that?" Caroline asks. I shake my head.
"In the moment yeah. But Jack knows Ryan more than I do. Andy knows him more than anyone... I don't really know," I whisper. Caroline lays her head on my shoulder for a moment as we stop at the house. People already here. People stand around with red solo cups talking, some making out.
"What did Andy say after everything?" Caroline asks, picking up her head. I turn facing her feeling her arm fall from around mine and instead interlocking our fingers. I squeeze lightly and shrug.
"Nothing really. I mean we talked about it. Talked about Ryan."
I low sigh escapes my lips. They got a call right after Jack and I got done talking. We walked down to where everybody was. And Andy had just walked into the lobby. A sad look on her face when they were all called. It left me and someone from another station here. He was filling in for somebody. I forget who. Jack had mentioned it on the way down from the roof. Dude was pulling a double from the other shift.
"Hey Mija," Andy's voice speaks. I lift my head up and meet Andy's eyes. She looks tired as she comes further into the room, giving a small smile. "What are you working on?"
Her brown eyes shift to the stuff sprawled out on her bed in front of me. I glance down at all of it then look up at her.
"Project for art class," I say easily, shrugging. I pull my knees up to my chest, my cast sort of hitting my leg making me flinch. Andy smiles lightly walking over and glancing at all of it before slowly sitting down on the edge of the bed where the project isn't. She just stares at it. We hadn't really talked since her and Ryan were sort of going at it then I pushed him.
"If you're going to yell at me for pushing Ryan, don't. I'm sorry," I finally say seeing her head lift and her eyes soften. She shakes her head from side to side.
"No baby,'I'm not going to yell at you at all. I.. I just wanted to check on you. A lot has happened to you and it seems like it keeps on getting more and more. So I-"
"I'm okay," I say it plain and simple. Was I really okay though? No. The thoughts in my head and the things I say out loud are totally different. I just don't know how to express myself. I've never been good at it. I was made, broken to the point I kept everything it to protect myself. But with Andy and station 19, they've made it easier for some things. Other things, it's complicated.
