Into the Flames {Station 19 x you}

twenty-nine: alcohol

Loud music blares through the house. I flinch at the noise and tense anytime someone accidentally touches me while dancing. I follow Caroline through the house. She dances her way through like she's done this before. I don't put it past her.

"Caroline! Y/n!" Joey's voice rings out over the music. We get into the kitchen where the boy is sat up on the counter. The music is heard from the kitchen just not as loudly as everywhere else. There was two people with Joey until we walked up. They headed out with a couple beers and I instantly feel sick to my stomach at the smell of alcohol.

"Hey Joester," Caroline smiles and reaches over grabbing a beer bottle. I stare at it and shake my head.

"Now how in the world do you get talked into this?" Joey asks, looking at me. I turn my head from the bottle watching Caroline lift it to her lips. I flick my eyes to Joey's who's tilting his head. His eyes soft looking at me.

"I asked her to come," Caroline spoke for me. "I thought it'd be a nice distraction from reality for her." I slowly trail my gaze back to Caroline who smiles at me. Our eyes lock for a moment till she looks at the bottle and placing it back to her lips.

I lick my lips feeling my chest heaving. My chest rises and falls rapidly. It's extremely hot in here. I can feel my blood boiling. I feel uncomfortable. My skin felt itchy, bothersome as I just stood there both Hoey and Caroline drinking. I hated it. I shake my head and reach up my hand to my neck.

"I'm going to go get some air," I speak up slightly. My eyes shift between the two of them. Joey nods and sets his cup down. Caroline removes the bottle from her lips, beginning to separate them but I'm walking past her hurriedly and back through the crowd. Bodies press up against me. My breathes go heavy and uneven. I squeeze my eyes shut repeatedly, tightly. By the time I make it to the door I'm pushing myself out and feeling that cool breeze I so desperately needed.

I practically jump off the back porch and walk a few feet away from the house and get somewhere I'm not in anyone's eye sight. I settle behind some trees, letting myself lean against the dark oak bark and squeezing my eyes together tightly. The smell of alcohol lingers in my nostrils. Images of him begin swirling in my mind, like fresh wounds that I thought I healed from. That I thought at least was healing. But he's there. He's never going away.

"One day you're going to wish you were dead," he spoke, all breathe. The smell of bourbon and whiskey covers him. His shirt even stained from the glass he spilled not even an hour ago, still has its own stench. I flinch as he kicks my knee, a gasp escaping my bloody, busted lip. "I'm in your head. I'm all you'll ever think about and it's going to get to the point where you'll start wishing I would've killed you. But I'm not giving you that satisfaction. You worthless piece of shit!"

A scream escapes my shaky lips as he takes his boot back and flings it into my gut. My body hurls into a ball, my breathes going shallow. Whimpers escape my throat. I squeeze my eyes together tightly trying to ease the pain. Like that'll help by me squeezing my eyes together. My arms wrap around my stomach holding it like it's a small doll. I needed my bear. I needed it more than ever right now.

"Y/n?" My head flies up and lean up against the tree hearing light footsteps. My heart pounds and tears roll down my cheeks. "Y/n, it's Joey."

I close my eyes and let out a low sigh nodding. I reach my hand up and wipe at my face, trying to rid of the tears. I don't even know why I'm crying. Everything just seems heavy.

"Y/n, you out this way?" Joey asks, his voice sincere. I finally step out and open my eyes. There I'm met with the boy with his hands in his pant pockets. "Hey... You okay?"

I nod slowly. "Yeah- Yeah sorry. It was... I'm not used to so many people like that I guess," I answer, raising my shoulders up then dropping them. I look down to the ground and wrap my arms around myself.