Just a nurse

Drunk thoughts

And I went neatly through all his stuff.
I searched every corner and every little paper.

What I hoped to find?
I don't know.
A hint.
Anything that would tell me where the hell I was.

And I found it.
He was stupid enough to store some work related stuff here.
And this with some of the other stuff in his apartment gave me enough evidence to be pretty sure we were somewhere in Canada.

Would that information benefit me in any way? Probably not.
But I had it.

It somehow pleased me.
It felt good.

I remember why I was actually here.

I ran myself a bath.
I had found a bottle of pretty expensive looking wine.
I poured myself a big glass and sunk into the hot bath.

This was good.
I felt amazing.
Like i had achieved something.

But soon the realisation creeped up on me that this information wouldn't bring me anything.
I desperately tried to drown these thoughts in wine.

What lead to me emptying the entire bottle.

After a while I hear some keys.
Phillip was back.
And I was bloody drunk.
I sipped on the last glass of wine.

„Phillliiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppp"

I almost yelled excitedly.
He carefully entered the bathroom.
He raised his eyebrows at me and tilted his head questioning.

„Philliiipp! How was your meeting? You were gone soooooo long!"

„What's up with you princess?"

He grinned amused.

„Oh I found this wine. And I usually don't like wine you know. But well I thought I should try it. And it tasted awful! So I thought mayyyyyybe when I drink more it tastes better!"

I smiled excited up to him.

„So you drank all of it?"

he laughed.

„Wellllllllllll yes. And my rating issss"

I made a dramatic pause.

„It still tastes awful. But it hits different"

I giggled loud.
He shook his head amused and gently grabbed the glass out of my hand.

„I think you had enough"

I grabbed after the glass and pouted.

„Noooooooooooooooo!"

„No enough my princess. Come on I don't want you to drown in there"

He said and held out the big towel.
I almost slipped as I got out the bathtub but he catches me in the towel.
I giggled and leaned onto him.

„Are you mad Philip?"

„No my princess. I'm not mad."

He wrapped me tighter in the towel.
I looked up to him with glassy eyes.
I smiled slightly.

„You know sometimes I think it's sad that I hate you"

He sighed slightly.

„You know you almost had me back then. I had the biggest crush on you"

I giggled.
His face shifted to disbelief.
But he still said nothing.

„So handsome, so smart, such a good leader, such a gentleman. Oh I liked you so much."

My smile melted into an expression of sorrow.

„But you just lost it all. You ruined it yourself Phillip."

„When? Where did I go wrong Angel?"

He almost sounded pleading.

„Everywhere.
You changed Phillip.
You suddenly were too lazy to fight for what you want. Yoh just took it with violence.
Everything.
In missions, with your team, with the shadows, and even me.
You just expected everyone to give you what you want. And when not.....oh when not.
This rage, this hate in you.
This all drove me away. I don't want someone that takes things for granted.
That isn't willing to make a compromise."

I slowly stroked over his face deep in my thoughts.
His hurt face turned cold and angry.

„But you want someone who just left you because he's afraid?"

I huffed.

„Yes it was wrong. But he thought he would protect me.
That I was better without him no matter how much it would hurt himself.
You couldn't do this.
You keep me here.
Locked up.
Away from everything"

He grabbed my hand.
Looking deep into my eyes.

„You want out? Alright. How does duty sound for you? You're coming with me on missions. You will learn to respect me. You're mine!"

I sighed and stepped slightly back.
I stumbled a bit.

„At least my chances of dying are better there"

I muttered and grabbed my stuff.

He looked like he somehow regretted it.
But he said nothing.
I groaned and shook my head.

„Fuck. I feel sick."

„You drank a whole bottle"

he said plain.

„Im sorry. I'm stupid"

I felt warm tears in my eyes.
The emotions and the alcohol in my system did their thing.
I was wasted.
I didn't knew what I was doing or saying.

Phillip noticed how small tears slowly ran down my cheeks.
He sighed and pulled me back into his arms.

„You need to rest. This was too much"

My head had already forgotten the previous conversation so I hummed sweet.

„Yes yes."

He shook his head and guided me into his bedroom.
I didn't remembered anything after that.

Until I woke up.
I groaned slightly.

I was covered with a big blanket.
And I was alone.

I had no idea what time it was.
Remembering a few words from last night I quickly got dressed and left.

I ran into Vincent on the way over to my room.
He came out of the direction of my room.

„Oh I was looking for you."

His grin told me that he had connected the dots where I came from.

„Had a good night?"

„No. It was horrible. And no don't ask please."

He quickly realised that I was telling the truth and sighed.
He knew exactly that this wasn't good.
Phillip wouldn't be in a good mood either.

I wondered if he meant his words.
Would he let me go on missions with them?

He may think it was something to punish me but I really wanted to.

Get out of here.
Do something.