Just a nurse

No games anymore

I still couldn't believe this was real.
He was here.
He found me.
They found me.
I would get out of this shit hole.

After a while of realising what exactly was happening we sat down.
He insisted that I told him what had happened the past year.

I hesitated slightly.
I knew Simon.
He could get rather impulsive.
But it was no use to hide anything from him.

I told him everything.
Every date, every fight, every little and big thing Phillip had done.

Vincent helped me to complete everything.
He came up with things I had forced myself to forget.

I only then realised how drained and miserable I felt.
Phillip had given me everything I wanted but nonetheless had treated me like a toy.

I could see how hard it was for Simon to keep calm.
Maybe it wasn't the best decision to tell him right away.
Now it would be harder for him to face Phillip and pretend.
But it was hard for me either.
Knowing I would get out, that Simon was here and that it was just a time question by now would make it hard to be somehow nice to him.

I hoped that he would still give me time and not force me to speak to him.

I was devastated as Vincent and Simon left in the evening.
I knew they had to.
I knew he couldn't stay.
But everything in me wanted to just hold onto him.
To make him stay.

And this feeling wouldn't leave.
So I sat on my bed in my pyjamas and read a book.
It was in the middle of the night.
Everything was painfully silent on the base.

I couldn't even really concentrate on my book.
I had to think about Simon.
What he was doing.
If he also couldn't sleep.

I was pulled out of my thoughts and my eyes looked up from reading the same page over and over again because I couldn't concentrate.

It knocked.
It knocked on my door.

I sat still.
Was I imagining things?

It knocked again.
Normally.
Not three times.
I slowly got up and carefully opened the door a bit.

In front of it was Phillip.
I blinked slightly and rolled my eyes.

He looked wasted.
His hair messy, his eyes red and tired.
He was only wearing sweatpants and a very tight tshirt.

If he wasn't such an asshole I would have thought he was quite attractive.
I was about to close my door again as he pushed it open.
I stumbled back and huffed.

„The fuck you think you're doing?"

„We will talk! Now!"

„No. I said I don't want to-„

„And I say we talk. End of discussion.
I won't have you play around like that.
I see what you do. You try to distance yourself from me. This is not gonna happen!"

He sounded really angry.
Everything about his tone and body language ticked me off.

„Phillip. Listen.
It's enough that you won't bloody listen to me.
That we lost a lot of men because you thought my opinion was irrelevant.
I have every right to be mad.
I look like a freak because of you!
And then you go and hit me!
I don't care if it was in front of everybody.
In the end I'm still a soldier.
But you hit me. You claim that I mean so much to you. That I'm yours and all that bullshit. But you don't hit someone you care about Phillip!"

I had backed up from him to deescalate the situation. But he kept stepping forward.

„Don't be ridiculous!
You're my property and I do with you what I want!
I'm done with your games. You play along with my rules or you will see the consequences.
You're no real soldier.
You're just a stupid nurse that thinks she could change something.
But you can't!
You're mine!"

He was now right in front of me.
I could practically feel the anger seeping out of him.

A thought flashed through my head.

I could kill him.
Right here and right now.
I could end this and push this base into pure chaos.

But I wouldn't.
I didn't wanted to crash Simon's plan.
I couldn't.
So I had to play along.

„You're not coming far with this Phillip"

I hissed and stared up to him.
He lowered his face to my level and smiled evil.

„Oh we will see about that.
I will break you! My beautiful little angel"

He stroked over my cheek and grabbed my face.
I whined slightly.

„We don't want more bruises don't we?"

I said nothing and just stared at him.
It seemed like now he had completely lost his mind.

„As I thought!"

he let go of my face.

„We will continue our dates tomorrow. No complaining."

With that he was out.
He slammed the door behind him.
My heart was racing.

I threw my book across the room and screamed my anger out.

I couldn't believe he acted that way.
But he wanted a war?
He would get one.

Now there was no more holding back on my rage.
On my desire to pay him back.
And I would get him at the point where it would hurt the most.

The one thing he was so proud of was the loyalty of his men.
But he manipulated them and lied to them.
Maybe it was time to see how loyal they would really be.