Just a nurse

Only you

I walked back to my room.
Feeling his eyes on me.
He waited til I was inside.
I closed the door.

I rushed to the bathroom.
Quickly pulling up my hair I threw up.

I felt disgusting.
Everything about this man affected me physically.
This pretending made me sick.

I ripped off the necklace he had just gifted me.
It wasn't even pretty.

I sat down on my dressing table.
Looking into an empty and tired face.
My scar getting more and more visible as I took off my make up.
I hadn't even actively recognised that I was crying.

I had to look away.

Simon had assured me that he didn't cared one bit about it.
And I genuinely believed him.

But I cared.
I had always loved my face.
And now it looked so different.

I didn't felt like me anymore.
I felt like an empty puppet.
Working, smiling, laughing, talking.
Nothing felt like me.

Simon had promised me it won't take long.
And the only thing that kept me going was the fact that we would leave this place.
That I would come back home.
That I would be able to be with Simon.

I could see the pain.
The pain in his eyes.
The pain it caused him to see me like this.
And I could do nothing to ease this pain.

I was pulled out of my thoughts.

Three knocks.
Simon or Vincent.

„Yeah"

I said weak.
I didn't looked up.
But from the steps I knew it was Simon.

„Hey Missy. I thought I get you a tea to calm down"

I didn't deserved him.
Which guy would endure this.
I wasn't worth any of this.
I looked up.

There it was.
The pain in his eyes.
Why is he doing this?
Why does he stay?

He set the tea on the dressing table and pulled me up.
He stroked some lose hair out of my face.
He pulled me close.

„It's ok. We're almost there Missy. Two days. I promise"

I sniffled and looked up.

„Why do you do this Simon?"

He looked confused.

„Why do you stay?
Why for me?
Who want someone like me?
I'm broken.
I don't know if I'm worth all of this trouble"

Warm salty tears ran down my cheeks.
I looked down and shook my head.
My mind was a dark place.
I couldn't see.
I couldn't breath.
I felt like falling.
Like being crushed.

„Look at me Missy"

Simon grabbed my chin and tilted my head up to him.
He wiped away my tears with his thumb.
He gently kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my nose.

„Listen to me carefully.
You're everything for me.
I spend a whole year searching for you. And I would spend the rest of my life searching for you.
I made a lot of mistakes in my life.
God I was a terrible person.
But the biggest mistake I made was leaving you. Leaving because my stupid mind thought you were too good for me.
I thought you would be safer, happier.
But I should have been there.
Because this is where I belong.
Next to you.
You understand me without any words. You light my life up just with a smile.
I was in dark places mentally.
I know exactly what is going on with you.
And I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
But I will be there.
Always.
No matter what. Because I love you.
No matter what scars you have.
I would burn this world to find you.
I would move mountains and dry out seas to bring you home.
Home to me.
Because I simply can't live without you anymore.
You have my heart and I don't ever want it back.
I know this will be hard.
It's a long road.
But we will do this together. You're worth every step of the way.
I can't even describe what you do to me.
You're the most beautiful being I have ever seen.
Your smile is like a sunrise.
Your laugh like pure sunshine.
The way you look at me makes my heart race.
I wanna spend my life with you.
Forever. So never ever doubt that again.
And I promise you now, on my love for you, that I will make him pay.
For every time he layed a hand on you.
For every time he layed eyes on you.
For every tear he caused."

His words crossed my mind like a warm hug.
I had never believed in true love or soulmates.
Now i did.
It would be him or no one.
Never again.

I burried my face into his chest and clenched onto him.
This would be over.
This would have an end.

I took some deep breaths.
Feeling Simon's big hand rubbing over my back.
I got lost in the moment.

Until Simon pulled back and looked down to me.

„Please try to sleep love. You'll need it. Remember two days. Then this will end"

He tried to smile but it wouldn't work.
He just made a painful grimace.
I nodded slightly.

The thought of laying down on that big bed without him was cruel.
With every growing inch inbetween me and Simon the empty feeling inside of me grew.

I layed down and pulled the blanket under my chin.
Simon looked back before leaving the room.
I could swear I had seen him cry.

But it was no use to think about it.

Two days.
I could do this.
What should happen in two days?
This would go well.