Just a nurse

Growing rage

I couldn't sleep the whole night.
I was up and out early to get me some tea.

As I reached the kitchen I saw Simon.
Already with a tea in hand.
He looked confused as I entered.

„What are you already doing here? Couldn't sleep either?"

„No. Not since Graves decided to get on my last nerve in the middle of the night."

His face darkened visibly.

„What did he do?"

I looked around.
There was not a single soul.
I pecked a quick kiss on his lips and snatched the tea out of his hands.

His face relaxed for a split second then he sighed.

„Please tell me"

„Nothing Si.
He's gone mad or something.
He said he had enough with my games and that I would not distance myself from him.
Some stupid lecture about how I'm his property.
You don't know how much I wanted to just kill him right there Si"

I sighed and took a sip of my tea. I smiled wide.

„No one makes my tea like you"

I whispered softly.
He gently stroked over my arm and sighed.

„I know love. It's hard but you gotta keep going just some days. And then I will destroy him believe me"

I looked up.
He looked fuming.
I smiled slightly.

He stepped back as other shadows entered the kitchen. It kind of hurted.
To pretend that be barely know each others.
I hid my face in my cup and leaned on the counter.

„Morning Mel. Everything ok? Heard screams last night"

One of them said concerned.
I shrugged.

„yeah yeah. Had a ehm talk with Graves"

He scrunched his nose and shook his head.

„Ugh I'm sorry. Can we do anything for you?"

„Oh no thanks Merlin. But I appreciate it"

„We keep him busy today yeah? We got your back"

He said smiling and nudged my shoulder.
I smiled sweet and nodded.

I could see how Simon clenched onto his cup.
He wasn't really having the situation.

„Keep a good eye on her Matty. She's important"

Merlin joked and left the kitchen.

„I will"

muttered Simon.
I gave him an apologetic look.
We grabbed our cups and walked back upstairs.

„What's up with him?"

„Who Merlin?"

„yeah the flirty one"

„Oh no he's not flirting. He's just one of the guys I'm good with. There are some guys that are not absolutely misogynistic.
I like to keep them on my good side. Just in case. And after all they're good men.
They are lied to Si. Graves lies and manipulates them. They don't even know want they are doing.
Not all of them stand behind Graves believes.
They treat me good. They help me. They made it a little bit more bearable"

He looked forward.
I could see the conflict in him.
He was definitely jealous.
But he also knew I was right.
He sighed.

„If you say so. But when I see one of them coming to close to you-„

„They wouldn't. Alone out of fear and respect of Graves."

„And this Vincent? He's on our side?"

„He is Si. He wants out as much as I do. I wouldn't have made it without him"

„Huh. You seem close"

„Simon really.
Can you stop? No one here wants something from me. Except Graves of course.
Vincent is a wonderful guy!
He helped me where he could.
And to be honest from the way he looks at you I have to worry!"

„Wait so you mean he's-„

„Yes he is. But don't tell anyone. The most guys here are not only misogynistic but also homophobic. I don't want him to get in trouble"

„Ohhhhh I'm sorry it's just- well it's been a long time and I was so afraid and-„

„Simon it's ok. I can understand this.
But trust me. Please"

I looked around to make sure we are alone.

„I love you Si. So much. And I want nothing more than to leave this nightmare.
But it's not their fault. It's Graves fault. And his alone"

He sighed and nodded.

„Alright. I'm sorry. I really thought this would be easier."

He looked tired.
I took a deep breath.

„We can do this Simon. I trust you and Johnny. I'm sure you have an excellent plan"

„We do. Believe me. Johnny will have the time of his live"

I smiled slightly.

And again someone crossed our path.

The growing distance.
The plain faces.
This pretending to not know each other.

Being so close and yet i had to act like I hadn't craved him for the last year.

And this made something boil inside of me.
Deep deep inside of me.
I could practically feel it consuming me.

And it only grew.
With every hour.
Every day.

And with every time I saw Graves.
I got sick even from the look of him.

When he talked the only thing my mind could concentrate on were all the scenarios I wanted to kill him.

I had never been filled with so much hate and rage.

There stood the man that was the reason for all my pain.

Talking about absolute nonsense.
Sitting there.
On the table.
With candles.
With nice food.
Smiling at me.

My face instinctively reacting and putting on a fake smile while in my head I took the knife in front of me and cut out his fake tongue.

All the lies.
All the manipulation.
All the poor people here.
Some of them feeling trapped.
Trapped like me.

And I wouldn't let him ruin my life any longer.
My freedom was so near.

Shivers running through my body as he took my hand. My body wanted to throw up all the food.

Just smile.
Do it.
Just pretend.
Just a little bit more.