Chapter 42 - Recovering Memory

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Su Ning woke up, feeling cold inside despite the warm blanket covering him. The side where Qiang Yong was lying was cold and empty and for some reason it oppressed his heart even more. He sat up in bed, only to feel the heavy drops fall from his eyes onto his hands that were tightly gripping the blanket.

So that's what happened in his past... he felt like he was suffocating even within the wide walls of that spacious room and decided to go out for a walk in the night air. Su Ning came out with only the thin inner robe and barefoot, to walk on the grass in the garden. It was cold like that night, it would probably also snow.

The boy crouched down, pulling up some weeds he had seen in the garden during the day. He let the tears run down his face, burning hot against his cold skin. The memories followed one after another, as if they were going to pierce his head. He massaged the Shuai Gu points[1] on his temples to relieve the pressure. Every now and then he let out choked sobs. It was very late and he didn't want to wake anyone up.

"Dr. Su?" A voice called him from behind. He turned his face to see who it was, recognizing the figure of Ren Shyu.
"A-Shyu, are you still awake?" He asked in a weak voice.
"Dr. Su... I mean, Su Ning, are you crying? Did you remember anything?" He suddenly realized this and I ran to the other's side, putting my hand on his shoulder.

It was such a spontaneous and natural gesture that not even Ren Shyu expected it from himself. But he saw that person in such a pitiful light that his heart was filled with compassion. Su Ning nodded crestfallen.
"My father and my brothers died from the black fungus. When the contaminated rice was placed close to other grains and fruits, the fungus also began to contaminate them. That week a shipment of food arrived in the village. But they were close to bags of rice that would be burned. Or maybe something they ate on the outside, like jujubes..." He fell silent.

Ren Shyu understood now. Losing relatives so early... he never got to know his father, but he missed him anyway. Ren Shyu hugged him tightly, letting him continue to cry softly under his warm chest.
"And do you remember what happened next?"
"Many people died... And before we could do anything, the imperial army came and burned everything down. A group managed to escape along one of the mountain trails..."

Su Xue hoped to reach another village with her surviving son. Her and Su Ning's luck was that she was busy, forgetting to eat and skipping meals, while her son had a weak stomach fire and was inappetite, only eating the main meals reluctantly.

They set out with a small group, taking with them only the necessities in a cart. It would take at least two days to cross the other side of the mountain and it was snowing heavily. Su Ning was still numb from witnessing the death of his family members and his legs had been hit with cramps from being exposed to the cold for so long. Her mother stroked their hair, feeling guilt and regret that she had not prioritized her family.

This was too heavy a burden for a child to carry. How can she be so blind?
In the cart, she hugged her son, trying to keep him warm and supporting him, singing softly in his ear.
"In the blue mountains,
in this place we separated.
My longings are like the river,
which flows to the sea without rest."

Su Ning didn't feel anything, but the melody made the streams of tears come out with effort and he slipped between his fingers a black stone that his mother carried around her neck. It had white streaks that came out of it like a flower, it was a pendant that her mother always wore and the stone was always cold to the touch. Su Xue thought it was a unique art made by nature.

The survivors in the wagon also said nothing. The children, being weaker, were the first to succumb and Su Ning was the only one left. With the snow falling heavily, not even the sound of the wheels creaking on the soft, white ground was audible.
However, like thunder falling from the heavens, like a heavenly tribulation, they heard a loud bang.

Everyone's heart skipped a beat. From the top of the mountain, an avalanche of snow was descending, as fast and voracious as the misfortune that consumed his homeland. Su Xue felt the entire blood in her body go cold, they were unable to escape this time.
She remembered that there were some yao in the wagon, maybe they could save themselves. A figure stood up, ready to lead the way, and Su Xue grabbed her shoulder.

"Liu Xuang! Please take my son with you!" She handed him her son with tears in her eyes. And it's a last ditch effort, she ripped the chain off her neck and put it in her son's hand. The yao stared at her for a moment, recording in her memory that mother's desperate face and without hesitation, he jumped out of the cart with the child in his arms, opening his large wings wide, just as the child was hit by the snowdrift, being dragged to the bottom of the abyss.

Even in shock, Su Ning couldn't help but hold back her own scream, calling out for her mother. The sound echoed throughout the mountain, making the entire mountain tremble. The child helplessly stretched out his arms and cried bitterly in the yao's lap. Liu Xuang hugged him tightly, even though the boy was motionless in his arms, crying bitterly.

"Forgive me, Xiao Ning. I had no way to save her, I can only carry you..." Liu Xuang lamented. She was a weak, small and useless yao. But Su Xue served her once for free, she would never forget it. Saving her son was the least she could do. She landed further in front of the slide and tried to comfort the boy.

Su Ning had nothing left. No home, no family, everything destroyed. Why did he have to continue living?
"Su Ning, it was your mother's wish. Hooray for her! It was what she wanted! Otherwise, she wouldn't have given you to me then!" Liu Xuang shook him lightly. "Promise me you'll do it."
The boy didn't respond immediately, hugging his knees sadly.

Then he slowly nodded his head. He doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. Without food, money or shelter, the two were forced to cross the mountain alone for two days. They arrived at the nearby village semi-frozen and discovered that the yao were treated with distrust in the place. Su Ning ventured alone to ask for food from the hostile villagers.

He couldn't say he came from a contaminated village, so he just said they were traveling and got caught in an avalanche. With some difficulty he obtained some sweet potatoes and old turnips, and they improvised a shelter in a cave on the edge of the village. Neither of them said anything as Su Ning made stew with the turnips and roasted the potatoes.

"Xiao Ning, what do you plan to do now? Is there somewhere you want to go?" Liu Xuang asked as he devoured his bowl of soup, his first hot meal in days. During the crossing, she could only eat edible roots that Su Ning collected from under the snow. The boy chewed his sweet potato without appetite, caressing his mother's pendant between his fingers.
"I... I'm going to study medicine like my mother." He responded with sudden resolve. He knew which medical sect his mother studied at, so that was where he would go.

Author's Note

There are memories that make you want to pull out like weeds, roots and all.

[1] Shuai Gu: acupuncture point located above the ear, it is highly recommended as a local point for headaches, but it is also indicated for dizziness, blurred vision, feeling of heaviness in the head, deviation of the eye and mouth, vomiting , inability to eat, damage caused by alcohol (did you hear, colleagues who like rice wine? 😏).

[1] Shuai Gu: acupuncture point located above the ear, it is highly recommended as a local point for headaches, but it is also indicated for dizziness, blurred vision, feeling of heaviness in the head, deviation of the eye and mouth, vomiting , in...

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