The Golden Witch || Peter Pevensie x OC

50. Time's Up

Valera missed the comfort of darkness.

Being unconscious meant she was without pain.

Now being awake, she had to not only deal with her physical injury, but the pain of the world around her.

The last thing she could remember before waking up to deal with her sister's close return was the tragic failure of their attack.

The screams of her people trapped behind the gate with nothing but death to face still echoed out in her mind.

The feeling of a hopeful victory being pulled out of them, and their freedom once more snatched from their grasp by the Telmarines.

Despite Jadis no longer being around, Valera still felt a cold emptiness in her heart.

Having to finally deal with her own guilt of letting her people down yet again.

Perhaps if she had listened to Caspian and been firmer with Peter.

Perhaps if she had gotten to the courtyard sooner.

Perhaps if she hadn't diverted to go and check on Edmund.

Perhaps if she was stronger and hadn't lost her grip of the gate.

Perhaps those soldiers may still be alive, and all these centuries of suffering would be at an end.

Lying in her bed where Peter had left her to get some further rest, Valera shed necessary tears.

It was the silent, private form of sorrow.

The witch didn't want comfort. She didn't feel as though she deserved it.

She didn't deserve to be told that all hope wasn't lost. That she didn't do anything wrong. That it wasn't her fault.

The last time a mistake of this magnitude was made under her watch, she received centuries worth of isolation, loss, and torture as punishment.

The least she could do to make up for her failings this time was listen to her guilt and accept her responsibility.

Her people had relied on her. She let them down.

Her people still relied on her. Was she going to let them down again?

Now that they had lost all advantages, Miraz's army was on the way to them, everyone would no doubt turn their eyes upon her.

She was their advantage now.

She was their power. Their strength.

But the terrible truth that Valera was slowly accepting was that she wasn't strong enough.

She had never been strong enough alone.

Hence her requirement to have the Kings and Queens by her side.

But after the failed raid on the castle, the terrifying new truth was that even the Kings and Queens with her weren't enough anymore.

They needed more than that.

Which is why each of them almost gave into Jadis' offer.

For Valera, she not only needed her family for her own selfish desire to have her sisters back beside her, but she needed their help.

Their souls being with her didn't compare to their power in physicality.

But that had never been an option.

Lilith and Saida's return was a trick devised by Jadis to tempt Valera into submitting.

Another heart-breaking truth.