Deep Thoughts (ghost x female reader)

Visit (chapter 23)

Tw- mentions of depression and sucicide , ptsd and anxeity

"I want you to head to medical to check for fractured facial bones or tissue or anything...don't fight me with this please. I want to help you not hurt you..remember I am not your enemy. You can trust me , you don't need to keep being in fear. I know how it feels as well...I can see it in you , you wonder about your purpose and you think about your past "
He spoke as he gently ghosted his thumb over the bruises that were on your cheek from where you've gotten hit.
" I'll head to medical Alright...just don't speak a word of this..."
You flinched a bit and pulled away as you gave in. This moment slowly made you realize , you might just have someone who cares. Someone who might just understand. It was all so sudden but you felt a change and you were hesitant about you. Even ghost could see your hesitance.
" I won't, I promise. Just Head to medical , yknow what I'll  walk with you."
He explained and you kept quiet as you turned on your heels and walked out of your room , ghost  following behind you keeping close.

You were very hesitant. You wanted to trust him so much but your mind kept making questions if you should. He hasn't done anything to make you need to think that he was your enemy but at the same time you've been through a lot causing you to make a facade to keep people at bay and away from you. You thought maybe this could be something to live for. Ghost was clearly showing you that you could trust him but you were still showing signs of distrust. You needed to give him a chance and you mentally decided that you would. That you would hopefully open up slightly and maybe even talk more but you yet again we're still trying to trust. It was an effort.

You thought about the moments that he had placed his hands on your cheeks. It felt nice to say the least , you couldn't deny that. It felt so right yet so wrong and suspicious at the same time. You weren't used to being shown so much care and respect, soap had often show you his friendliness but you didn't really Connect with him but over time as you were with ghost you now only realized that your feelings were true. You were starting to really feel for him. Feel a longing feeling of affection for him. A feeling of needing someone by your side. Someone to share life with. You never really got that in life so this was new to you and it scared you. It scared you a lot and you didn't know what to do but keep it all in your mind but as you were currently walking you were broken from your thoughts as you heard ghost speak again.

"We're here alright."
He announced as he showed you into the medical bay. As you step into the medical bay you're immediately hit with a strong scent of antiseptic and medicinal chemicals. The bright sterile lighting bathes the otherwise plain white walls and The hum of various medical devices fills the air, along with the steady chirping of random heart monitors and the occasional whir of a machine. Medical staff were running around going about their business as they were working to take care of incoming patients and other wounded. Nothing as serious was going on but as you scanned around the area keeping vigilant you saw one of the nurses walk over to you.

''What brings you in today to medical?''
The nurse started as she approached you. Her eyes widening as she saw the beaten state you were in and she grew a bit nervous as she knew who you were. Her uniform is pressed and neat as well as her hair being tied up in the standar hair style being in a bun. She had a serious yet kind face and held a welcoming aura to her. As she neared your grew tenser and ghost noticed this and he gave you a small nudge before looking at the nurse.
''There was a physical altercation..an assault that had happened.''
Ghost explained and she nodded before looking at you.
''I see...follow me , will get you checked out immediately and fill out your paperwork and check in your medical records.''
The nurse explained quietly and a bit hesitantly and you kept quiet as she turned on her foot expecting you to follow but you stood for a moment and looked at trying to silently seek some sort of reassurance and ghost gave a small nod and gave you a small push.
'' go , you'll be fine and dont give the nurses hard pproblems.''
Ghost reassured and you sighed before slowly following after the nurse , walking down the hallway , passing other medical rooms and other medical personnel as well as patients and other wounded soldiers. Ghost watched as you walked off and he kept quiet as he thought and let his thoughts linger for a bit before heading off not to be seen.

As you walked down the hallway following behind the nurse she stopped at one of the empty medical rooms and she gestured for you to walk in. At the sudden stop you kept quiet and glared at her for a moment before stepping inside the medical room. The nurse kept a nervous look on her face as she entered the room as well as closing the door behind her before putting on a clean pair of bright blue medical grade gloves as well as she was prepping to get started on taking care of you and your wounds.
'' please sit on the table if you could....''
She gave a small weak and nervous smile but you didn't answer , only following instructions as you sat on the medical table , the paper cover that lay on top of it making noise as you sat down , ripping it slightly as you did so. 

You looked around the medical room.The room was quiet and tense with a sense of underlying nervousness. The medical bed is soft , yet also medical in appearance. There were cabinets stocked with all the necessities for examinations as well as a red biohazard bin to discard used needles and more. There was a sink with an under cabinet as well as a scale and a heart monitor. As you looked around you kept alert and the nurse had noticed this , she had seen the slight shake in your hands , the way you looked around  keeping vigilant and the way you would check the door often and keep your eyes mostly on her hands. She knew you were nervous but didn't mention much yet as she walked over to you, setting down a metal tray that was lined with rubbing alcohol , bandages , cotton pads and some band aids.

''My name is nurse phinney i will be caring for you today..''
She started as she opened one of the antiseptic pads.
''This will sting a bit , keep still please.''
She announced as she gently placed the cold pad on your cheek , cleaning and disinfecting the small cut that was apparent. You kept quiet feeling the burn creep up quickly as she did so and you kept quiet and tense as she started to take out small steri strips and placed them on it.
As she did so she cleaned up any of the blood that was on your face and you kept still and silent , the only sound heard was your breathing and the slight hum of the light and you avoided eye contact as you looked at the wall next to you. She then finished up with that and she placed the used pad into the biohazard box and she then started to look over your cheek feeling around slightly to make sure nothing was fractured.
'' everything seems good...some swelling and bruising but nothing to extreme.''
She spoke up and you looked at her before sighing watching as she grabbed the finger clip to get your heart rate. She placed it on your finger to see your heart rate and blood pressure and she noticed how it was spiked and she gave you a little firm look.
''Your blood pressures high..''
She told you and you huffed.

She did the other normal things like checking your temperature and vitals and such and everything seemed normal except for your blood pressure which made her a bit worried.
She stepped away from you and she took off her gloves, throwing them away and she went onto the computer that was in the room as well and she pulled up a form as it was medical pedicure and she looked at you.
'' i'm going to ask you a series of questions , answer as best as you can.''
She spoke and you gave a slight but before she could speak again you cut her off.
'' name is y/n l/n , age 26 ,( blood type)  , no family , kids or relationships , visions fine , no genetic medical shit , historys shit , haven't had sex , last period was three weeks ago , No i don't smoke , i don't have any pets , i don't live with anyone nor do i drink.''
You explained in a very blunt tone and she nodded.\

You wanted to get straight to the point as you knew all these questions would take a long time to answer and you've been through this before so you decided to just flow through it instead of waiting to answer on the nurses go.
'' any depression ? suicidal thougths? Closed reservedness ?any frequent anxiousness ? panic attacks?'
She cocked an eyebrow at you and you kept quiet which only made her gaze hardened.
'' y/n i need to know...don't lie. Lying in the medical field only makes things worse.''
She added and you kept quiet and her look grew solem as she looked you over.
''Im fine doc.''
You glared and she didn't answer as she kept quiet.
''Only came here cause the L.T wanted me to come.''
You grumbled.
''There have been diagnostic reports showing that you may have shown signs of ptsd? Older medical records show , only month old ones.''
She eyed you and your brows furrowed.
'' i ain't one of those mental cases alright now just send me on my way...''
You grew a bit snappy and she shook her head.
'' there's a few more things we need to run''
She replied swiftly yet nervously as she heard your slightly snappy response.

Help had been there for you and that wasn't denied for lying had been a bit of a demise. As being vigilant stemmed from your past it only made the present tenser than last.