Confusion (chapter 25)

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Tw- mentions of scars

Hours passed as it was now after chow and getting late.

You stood walking through the halls , walking past other soldiers who were getting ready for lights out and you made your way to your room and you rubbed your head as you closed your door and locked it. You didn't go to chow again which was nothing new. You were used to not frequently eating but here and there you did but most times you forgot as it wasn't really a priority for you in your day. You are standing in your quarters now and You reach for the zip on your pants and pull it down feeling the cool air hitting the inside of your legs. Your pants fall to the floor and you kick them off into the corner as you were getting ready to change.Then you reach behind your back and unfasten your bra letting it fall to the ground and You pull off your shirt and toss it to the side. You grab the elastic of your underwear and pull it down feeling it slide along your thighs and onto the floor as You step out of your underwear and picked up your clothes throwing into the dirty laundry bag and you stepped into your bathroom closing and locking the door behind you , quickly taking off the bandages medical had put on you before going to the shower and turning it on , stepping in as you began to wash yourself.

It had been a long day , a day that you wanted to be done and over with and you simply just couldn't let go of those moments between you and ghost and everything else. You couldn't deny that you didn't miss the way his hands felt on your cheeks and the way he had comforted you. You missed that but were a bit hesitant to let yourself open up to it. As much as you like the idea you were still suspicious of being closer but he hasn't given you a reason not to trust him. All he has given you was reason to trust him and you really tried to find any underlying motives but you couldn't , it was all just your anxiety speaking. You let the water run over you now as you rinsed off and you stepped out of the shower still feeling sore from everything before. You dried yourself off with the towel that hanged near and you unlocked the door and stepped out of your bathroom and you patted yourself dry before looking at yourself in the mirror seeing the fresh bruises and scars.

You kept to yourself and you walked outside into your room and  started to get dressed.
You felt yourself graze over the bruises as you walked to your closest looking through your sweats and perused your collection of the  soft cotton clothing , all army. You put on your underwear and As you picked out a pair of sweats you pulled them over your legs and you brushed over your fresh bruises you felt your breath hitch as it was a panic response that was arising within you, your breath hitching as you quickly put them on trying not to think about what had happened. You could still feel the way the soldier's hands were wrapped around your neck and the way he had manhandled you. You felt your breathing get shallow and grow more quickly and you got dressed quickly and tried to calm yourself down.

''Fucking calm yourself y/n..''
You muttered to yourself as you felt tears prick your eyes as well as your skin crawled.
''Fucking calm down hes not here..''
You growled to yourself and you turned off the light and slipped into bed , making sure to have your knife under your pillow at a good reach and you lied on your back with your hands resting on your chest. All that could be heard was your breathing and the ringing of your heartbeat in your ears. You fidgeted a bit with your fingers as you were on edge and you couldn't shake off the thought that someone could walk into your room. You felt unsafe and you felt extremely anxious as you heard nothing but your heartbeat and nothing but your thoughts.

It was late and you assumed everyone was sleeping but you also couldn't shake off ghost either.
You couldn't stop thinking about your past and the soldier. You could still feel his hands on you and the way he had threatened you , it all ran through your mind and it made you panic. You felt your panic arise in you and you sat up in your bed and looked around. You felt your hands start to shake slightly and your eyes welled with tears. You wanted this feeling to stop but it only got worse as you were in the dark. You started to feel paranoid as you looked around feeling as if someone else was in the room with you and you quickly pulled the knife from under your pillow and kept it close to you as you thought someone might be in the room with you but you also tried to think logically.
''No ones here with you y/n....stop fucking acting crazy...''
You told yourself but this only increased your edge and you tensed as you thought you saw a shadow in your room and you let off a small gasp as you saw the shadow figure.

You shook your head and decided to do something you'd never do in your life and you left your room quickly walking down the dimly lit hallway and you stood in front of ghosts room as you started to panic , the fear flowing through you and the adrenaline pumping as your fight or flight kicked up. You were hesitant to knock on his door but you did so anyway and hoped he would answer. You wanted to trust him and you decided you'd take this to show yourself that you could trust him. You knocked on his door and waited nervously in the hallway and after a minute of waiting you watched as the door opened , the tall 6,4 brute looming over you wearing dark grey sweats and a black tank top , his muscular arms showing as well as his pale skin and scars.

''Y/n?....''

Ones comfort would soon be gotten for these new fears would melt away and form new feelings like cotton.

Deep Thoughts (ghost x female reader) Where stories live. Discover now