Case by Case Love

Chapter 47: Not Leaving You

Erin lets out a sigh as she looks over at the chair before her, seeing Jay had finally taken up residence in it. 

After standing for most of the day and evening, he had taken a seat in it after getting some dinner in him. Thankfully Will was the great brother in making a delivery, considering they could not find a way for him to leave the room. He enjoyed the delivery, while Erin was at least able to stomach some soup despite still feeling sick.

They were requiring her to stay 24 hours for observation, not surprising given the amount of drugs in her system, or the symptoms exhibited. However, everything was pointing to things being fine and an early release in the morning. That was all great news to Erin, as long as she kept feeling better with each passing hour.

However, seeing him curled up in the chair as he tried to get comfortable while glancing at something on his phone, she felt every bit of sympathy. His residence had come there since hearing they would be keeping her overnight. He had plans to sleep in the chair, it seemed, which Erin was not too keen on. She knew how uncomfortable they were from the time she had spent in them, and she also knew how he was about his feelings in regards to being at the hospital. 

"Jay, you should go home and get some sleep," Erin tells him in as light as voice as possible. She didn't want it to feel as though she was pushing him away as she loved his company. She just cared so much about him to look out for his well-being. "I am just going to try and sleep tonight in hopes I wake up feeling better in the morning." 

"I'm fine here," he tells her without taking his eyes off of his phone. He knew if they caught eyes, it would give away the feelings he was truly experiencing, ones that had been there all afternoon since they arrived. "I can sleep here tonight. If I leave, whose going to be here with you? Whose going to take care of you?" 

"I have Natalie. I have Maggie. I have April. I have the great staff of Chicago Med. That's what being in a hospital is about - allowing the doctors to take care of you. I would be fine, Jay." He lets out a sigh, which she obviously heard in knowing she was not getting anywhere. "You just got cleared for duty and this was only your first full day of action on the job. You are still recovering fully from the bombing. You need to take care of yourself, too. You need to get your proper sleep. You need to looking out for yourself." 

"I am not still recovering fully. I am fully recovered, hence getting my clearance for full duty return." He finally lowers the device, allowing their eyes to connect together in hopes this was the last protest he would hear for the rest of the night. She had sat there with him through his ordeal. He was not about to allow her to go through hers alone. "I am not leaving you, okay? You spent hours, days sitting waiting for me to fight through my injuries. You were sick in worry over me. I am not about to let you go through this alone after what you did for me." 

"But I am fine, Jay. I am already feeling a lot better than I was earlier today." He shakes his head no, not believing this conversation was happening. He thought it was decided and settled he would be there for her all night when he asked permission from Hank earlier. He could not leave now, especially after actually getting approval on that permission.

"You fainted in my arm-"

"Because I was drugged by meth that was on the scene, Jay. But they pumped it out of my system. They gave me drugs to help with the affects. I am not dizzy anymore. I am not clammy anymore. All of my vitals have been fine every time Natalie has checked them. Other than feeling a little nauseous, I am fine. I will be fin-"

"And when you go to throw up, whose going to get the bucket for you if you need it? Whose going to help you clean up if you make a mess everywhere? What if you do have to go to the bathroom? Who is going to help you get there? I know you will tell me that you have the nurses and the doctors, but they are also busy with other patients. Let me be here for you, Erin. Let me care for you, please. I've had to go through 11 years of my life without you by my side. I've had to fight through getting shot in the chest to save you from a creep. At least let me do this for you." Erin's eyes look down at the bed as she feels the emotions poured out in his words, the true meaning as to why he was willing to put some of his own feelings behind him tonight to be there for her. She was beginning to realize why this meant more to him than normal.

"I didn't mean to leave you then, by the way. I wanted to come see you. I wanted to answer your phone call. I wanted to explain to you the full story as to why I left town." Jay nods his head, taking a deep breath as he remembered the conversation they had upon reuniting together with that very confession. 

He remembered the reasons she gave him. He remembered the feelings she shared. He did not necessary agree with it, and felt that she could have still told him then the details, but was not going to hold it over her head. After all, there were a lot of other things going on at the same time then between Nadia's murder, her brother Justin's murder, her estranged relationship with her mother Bunny, and Al's murder while in prison covering for Hank.  

"I don't hold it over your head," Jay comments as he focuses his eyes on her. "I don't hold it against you. I am not angry about it anymore. I am not looking back to then and complaining about what happened. I get it, I really do. I am ready to move on and not concern myself about it. I get the reasons, and sometimes you need that break. I ran off to another foreign country for a couple years. But it doesn't mean that I am still not upset about it, a little. Being able to be here for you, hold your hand, do things for you in return, and be with you is healing those wounds. I am not leaving you, ever, again, Erin."