"Joon's Dia"

(Chapter 46: Perfection)

I looked on as my sister and my girlfriend sat down on the sofa in the living room area together to have a private conversation. Blue and I had already finished cooking the macaroni pie and after we had all eaten lunch, everyone went off for a few hours of free-time. The entire gang and Blue's family were all going to the beach and to an area where there were caves. It sounded like fun but right now I wasn't having fun at all. I was actually going out of my mind and began biting my nails as I looked on at Kyung's interrogation of Blue. Then I felt a hard lash on my shoulder.

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I gasped, "What the fuck? Oh... Sorry Hyung." It was Jin.

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Kim Seok-Jin and I were very close. As a matter of fact when we first met I was really drawn into him and always found that he was the most handsome man I ever met. To me he still is the best looking member of BTS, sorry Tae... I giggled as I could hear Taehyung our heartthrob saying, "No! I'm the most handsome..." and then an argument would ensue between them. Tae and Jin would always fight and for no particular reason too. Whether it was positions on the dance floor or to free sticks of ice-cream. I would just roll my eyes at their childlike behaviour. Sheesh!

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"So, you really like this girl, eh?" He asked me as he saw what had my attention.

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I smiled/blushed and said, "No. I don't like her: I'm in love with her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her." I made no statement to give any misconceptions about my feelings for my baby. I love her and I wanted her in my life but then I heard Jin sigh. "What?" I just had to ask.

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"Well for starters, she's beautiful. I think she's like an exotic beauty who not only will make you happy seeing that gorgeous face every day but she's got a unique soul. Blue shines from the inside but I can see your inner conflict about her." Jin continued to look at her while he spoke.

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"What inner conflict?" I just had to know his views about this. He is after all, my biggest brother. His opinion meant the world to me.

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Jin watched me and smiled, "I'm sure you've already gotten the run-down that you're supposed to marry a Korean girl because of your lineage. But what I'm worried about is your heartbreak after you and Blue decide to part ways. And Namjoon, it is inevitable."

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I was about to argue with him but then I looked at my sister and compared her to Blue. There's no way if Blue and I were to get married that our children will be like Kyung Min or me for that matter. Anita was a beautiful child as she came out looking and behaving like her mother and there was a very high probability that if we were to have children they wouldn't just not be 100% Korean but they wouldn't look Korean either. Would they be considered outcasts and be treated with disdain? I couldn't let them go through that for the rest of their lives. I couldn't help but shed a few tears and I told my big brother,

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"I don't know if I have what it takes in me to fight for her but I want to. I love her but I keep thinking about what I want her to do for me instead of what is right for the both us. I guess I'm being a bit selfish," I bent my head but then Jin told me,

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"I think you do have what it takes to fight for the one you love. You're a passionate person and even though it will probably be one of the hardest things you would ever have to go through, I think it will be worth it." Then he looked at me and put his hand on my shoulder, "Namjoon, I think Blue is the girl for you and if you need help with anything, just let me know."