"Joon's Dia"

(Chapter 18: Our Promise)

My vagina was thumping wildly. I was sitting down in my seat on the plane and even though it had been almost 5 hours since I last saw him, my body was still on fire for his loving. OMG!!! I don't know how we made it out the limo in one piece but if he would've had his way, I would've still been with him and we probably would've been in his hotel room all now, fucking the living daylights out of each other. But I couldn't. No... I shouldn't. It was too risky and I was totally not going to have a fling with him. I almost gave in to his wonderful charms but I couldn't. I would be in a mess right now if I did.

.

'Who says you're not in a mess right now?' I heard my inner voice telling me. Oh God! I couldn't function. I only had a little taste of him and I was going bonkers. Seriously berserk. Why the hell didn't I stay with him? 'That's because he needs to show you if he really loves you and you need to decide if you really do love him too.'  Where was this voice coming from? Hmm... But the voice was absolutely correct. I needed time and distance from him to see if it was just a fling. Maybe he just got a lil feels and maybe if after months of being apart, he would realise what we had these last few days weren't anything of substance.

.

One week passed and I couldn't stop thinking about him. Namjoon and I kept our promise and we messaged and called each other every day. Even though he was supposed to stay in Brazil for 4 more days, he quickened them up and stayed for only 2 days. He went to Los Angeles as planned but only stayed for 3 days there. I wondered if he was going to come to my country to find me and he confirmed my suspicions when he called me from his hotel room in LA.

.

"I tried to adjust my schedule so I could come meet you but there's going to be a big cooperation meeting at HYBE tomorrow. They're actually waiting for me to arrive to have the meeting. I'm not just a member but also a major shareholder at the company." He paused and then sighed. He was obviously disappointed. "Apparently our CEO and board members have decided for BTS to do one last 'world tour'. Even though we're supposed to be taking a break, we all wanted to give all our fans a chance to see us before we fulfill our duties. I'm so sorry, baby. I wanted to see you in person again but it looks like I'll have to wait some more."

.

I agreed with him and even though we ended our call with the promise of seeing each other soon, it had been a week since his last call and I only got two text messages from him: one when he arrived in South Korea and the other that same evening telling me good night. It was so busy for him that I knew and understood his role in this. When another week passed and I still didn't hear anything from him I thought that maybe we just weren't cut out for having a relationship. We were on the other ends of the earth and because of his status and busy life, I had to take a backseat, literally. Was I overthinking things? Probably... It was just 2 weeks. Two long weeks. Sigh!

.

Right now I was in the backseat of a taxi hugging my daughter, Anita. She was busy telling me all about her wonderful trip to Disney World. She regaled all her adventures and told me that she really liked her new future stepmother Sherry and her new best friend/stepsister, Terri. I was happy for her. She asked about the concert so I told her just enough and not divulging anything about my performance or my so-called relationship with the famous RM. 'Hmm. If I'd call it a relationship at all.'  Come on don't overthink things. He'll call... I know he will. I hoped he will but unfortunately, he didn't. Not even a message.

.

I wondered if I was ready for this. Relationships were not something I had experience in. Dom was the only one I really had anything with and after that horrible experience with him, I didn't want to get involved with anyone else much less getting into another relationship. Even though there had been other guys who had approached me to be with them, I rejected them all. Including Anni's dad who after being rejected by me again, he eventually moved on with his life and months after he asked his girlfriend to marry him. I knew about it before Anni went on their trip as Dom did tell me. I told him that this was the time for Anni to meet his future wife as she was going to be a permanent person in our daughter's life.