"Joon's Dia"

(Chapter 25: More Confessions)

OH SHIT! I had to move like lightning: swiftly and without a sound. I took her hand and quietly carried her up to my room. We remained silent throughout which was strange for the both of us. Usually we'd be chatting or rambling on about something with each other but seeing the seriousness of what was about to happen, we both knew things would change between us after this. I kept hearing Yoongi's voice though, 'Take things slow that way she'll know that your feelings aren't superficial.' Even though he warned me about her heart from before, I somehow got the feeling that Blue knew exactly how I felt about her and she knew it wasn't anything flighty or fickle. I love this girl, more than anything in the whole universe and I was ready to make her mine. Or was I really?

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I didn't plan for us to do this here or right now. I kept thinking that she was in a vulnerable state and her feelings of grief were not to be taken advantage of. But that didn't stop me from digging into my pocket and nervously trying to put the card key into the slot of the door. I felt her hand coming over mine to settle my shaking and I immediately eased as she helped me open the door. I kept looking straight ahead and as the door opened we both stood at the entrance looking into the dark room. Then she became the brave one for the both of us. Blue took a step inside and turned to look back at me. I saw the wanting and love in her eyes and as she put her hand out for me to take it she whispered, "Come with me..." I was a fucking goner.

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I entered the room and she started walking ahead of me, looking for my bedroom I assumed. I immediately began to panic so I stopped. This cause her to jerk backward and in her movement I pulled her into me and held her tightly. I know I was going to seriously fucking regret this later and I would probably kill myself for doing this but I knew it was for the best.

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"Dia. I want you so badly that I'm literally trembling inside and outside. I want so much to follow you into my room and make you mine right now..." I paused and I saw her face as she looked like she was going to cry again. SHIT! What the hell was I doing? Then I heard Yoongi's voice again, 'The right thing'. Dammit Yoongi!

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"But now's not the right time, isn't it?" She completed not only my sentence but the exact words I was thinking. It really wasn't: She was going through her grief and I was fucking horny as hell. If I took her right now, she'd probably hate me for being too rough with her. She needed comfort and not a savage beast to devour her. I had to cool things off. So why did I invite her up?

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"Hmm-Hmm," I agreed and then said, "You were right. We really need to take things slowly. I want so much more than sex from you. I want us to share a love that I know can break boundaries." I needed to tell her my inner thoughts so she'd know that I would never hurt her and I wanted to make myself sure that I would not regret my rejection of her. God I wanted to feel her again. And it was almost as though she saw my conflictions so instead of carrying me into the bedroom, we sat on the sofa.

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She put me to sit and then she sat on top of me, hugging me in her arms. She was wearing a white silky blouse with a pretty dark blue skirt with white roses all around. Her make-up simple yet highlighted her eyes and lips. She looked so beautiful without giving too much glam. I loved that about her too. Her simplicity was absolutely gorgeous. Her pink hair was straight and a little longer from her time in Brazil. I couldn't help but put my fingers through them as I smelt the ends of her hair. Flowers. It was the first scent I got from her. But then it radiated all over her too. Dia was just intoxicating.

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Then she did something so sensual and I began to get worried. Oh God! Would I be able to resist her? Why was she tempting me like this? Oh Fuck! Dia lifted her skirt a bit and turned to face me. She took one of her legs and straddled herself onto my lap. I tried to hold on to her but she took my hands and put them to the side of my legs. Then she looked at me and shook her head.