"Joon's Dia"

(Chapter 6: Our Performance)

(Blue)

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OMG! OMG! OMG!

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If I told you guys that I was in happy, I'd be lying. I wasn't happy: I was beyond happy. It was more like: blissful, ecstatic... overjoyed. I loved that song from Stevie Wonder: 'Overjoyed'. Yes, Stevie: Dreams do come true and I felt it when I stood watching Namjoon singing along with me from afar. 'Winter Flower' was a hit. We got so many cheers and screams and Namjoon just blushed at me after the song was finished. But it was in our performance for 'Don't' when we sang the last choruses together that he turned his head to look at me and as we sang the lyrics together, I felt it again: Our connection.

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For those of you wondering what the lyrics are... well:

[Chorus: Both]
Don't leave
There's no place like home
Don't destroy us
Don't break a heart into two
Don't, don't leave
Don't abandon everything
Please, don't
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[Outro: Both]
Don't leave
So much would collapse
Don't destroy us
It'll break you too
Don't, don't leave
Don't abandon everything
Please, don't...

("Don't" by eAeon feat RM)

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I couldn't imagine Namjoon ever breaking my heart but if it ever came to that, I honestly didn't want to feel it. It would really destroy me. When I sang that last 'Please, don't...' I almost cried. Maybe I daydreamed about being with him for so long that I thought that he was actually attracted to me. Wake Up, Girl! That's never going to happen and I felt a tear fall not from the excitement of our performance but because I knew I could never be with someone like him. He was way-way WAAAY above me. Kim Namjoon was like a king while I was a mere servant girl.

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I immediately thought of Queen Esther and her humble beginnings of being a servant girl then to captivating the king and becoming one of the greatest queens from the Old Testament. I was no Esther. Humble yes. Royal, no. I had to know my place. I looked at him as I sang the last few hums of the song and I wondered if he saw the pains in my eyes. Could he see my tears? I highly doubt it. All I wanted to do was run. Run far away from here and never have to see him again but my legs weren't moving, neither were my eyes. They were glued on him and only because he had his song to do with Yoongi that he moved his gaze from me.

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The song was over and so was my performance. Someone came and took the microphone from me but then I felt a hand behind my lower back, "I've never seen him like this before. He's intrigued by you and from what I just heard, I understand why." 

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From the time I felt his hand, I looked up at Yoongi and when he spoke I couldn't breathe. Not because it was Min Yoongi touching me but because of what he just said. I felt unworthy to receive any kind of affection or love from Namjoon but here was his good friend telling me that Namjoon was 'intrigued' by me. Arousal is so good but yet still I was having doubts. There was no way that Kim Namjoon liked me. We just met. How in the hell could that be possible? Physical attraction; love at first sight... That can't be right. Not for a man like Kim Namjoon. He was a God in the eyes of many and I was a mere mortal.

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I stood there watching Namjoon, then to Yoongi and then back at Namjoon. He was looking at us and I saw his uneasiness. He put his hands through his hair a few times and tried talking with the crowd but then he'd look over at us again. Then Yoongi cleared his throat,

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"Let me know when you're ready to sing for me, J's little Blue Bird..." and then Min Yoongi gently kissed my cheek.