"Joon's Dia"

(Chapter 66: I Never Stopped...)

Leaving my teaching job was so difficult to do but it allowed me to venture into something I always wanted to do. It was one of my dreams to own my own small bistro. It was a simple structure and I built it similar to the other businesses in the neighbourhood by keeping a woodsy look about it. I designed it to look simple on the outside yet classy and homely on the inside. I did my best to blend in well in the neighbourhood and of course to remain undetected by anyone trying to find me. It worked because after three years, no one was able to find me. I wanted to start over my life and that meant leaving everything I did before including singing and performing professionally.

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Of course I was still doing my investing and that was still bringing in the millions for me. I just included my own business in my venture. I didn't have to advertise or rent any place. I bought the land and paid and supervised the construction of the building. Yes, I kept busy. I hired a few people from the area to serve and taught my Chinese sous chef how to make my delicious Caribbean dishes while he taught me how to make wonderful Chinese meals. The baking of breads and pastries I did on my own. It was my way to keep myself occupied. The people loved the atmosphere of the place and I had my regular customers along with newbies just passing through.

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But I had started over. I got rid of everything including my old phone which I knew Yoongi had installed a home-tracking device on it. Honestly, I couldn't give up every single thing so all my photos and videos were in storage in the Cloud and the phone contacts I kept in a secret file on my computer. I had just one physical photo and I kept that with me at all times. It was a selfie of Namjoon and myself in Brazil the day of the hotel tour and we had our first date when I wore the blue dress. We were sitting out in the park feeding the ducks by the lake. We looked so much in love then. He had already confessed his love and had given me his heart even though I hadn't confessed anything to him.

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I touched my chest and I felt it: his heart. I purposely kept all the precious items he gave to me hidden as I thought if I kept them close to me, that I would feel more of his presence. I was right for as soon as I took out our trinkets, I kept thinking back to how things were and how perfect our life was. I had them all hidden for almost three years so now was the time to finally let everything go. Deep down I hoped that he had found someone else and was madly in love with her but somehow I knew he wasn't. I didn't get the feeling that he was back to his old ways of sleeping around either but I knew that if he did bond with someone there was no turning back for him. Especially if she was of Korean Nobility.

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I remembered that his family wanted to match him off to a wealthy young Korean girl. She would be an adult by now and wouldn't need her family's consent but who wouldn't want to get married to 'The Kim Namjoon'? Ha! Me apparently. Strange I never told anyone that he had proposed and I had said yes. Strange that the few times we spoke there wasn't any formal ending to his marriage offer. We just never mentioned it or never said that we wouldn't get married. Well breaking up would probably mean that the marriage proposal was over yet somehow I felt like he never wanted to take that back. He never asked back for the ring either.

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I touched the side of my bag. The ring was neatly put into a space where I knew it would never leave. Was I going to give it back to him? And his necklace? I had no clue as to what I was going to do. All I know was that I was going to keep my promise to him. Would he remember that I made that to him? Would it matter at all to him if I came or not? I had so many questions and I felt hopeless as I had no way of knowing how he would answer to any of them. Three years was a long time.

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I remembered seeing him rolling his eyes whenever I threw a question back at him. LOL! God I missed those days. I laughed when I thought about the day when all the BTS members came to visit me at my home. They were so happy and relaxed just eating and playing games on my extremely large television set. When Yoongi laughed at us when we joked around or when Jimin and Jungkook would smile and blush at each other. When Hobi or Jin wanted me to cook something for them. And of course Tae-Tae who would come and snuggle up on me causing Namjoon to physically remove him from my embrace. Wonderful yet painful memories.