"Joon's Dia"

(Chapter 48: Love/Hate)

As soon as we reached home, I looked at Namjoon as he was getting the groceries out. With everything that had already happened to us I couldn't help feeling that this was the life that I was born to be in. A life with Kim Namjoon. I smiled at him because he was so good-looking, charming, respectful and an amazing lover. I love him very much and I knew that I needed to make him realise how much I really did even if my fantasies of us seemed unreal.

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I pressed the button to let us in and we headed straight for the kitchen upstairs. It was such a casual feeling and even though Dom was a dick before, we didn't let his rantings spoil the little time we had together. BTS were leaving in the next few days to go to Brazil so I had to make the moments count. I went into my room to neaten it up and put something on my bed as Namjoon went to unpack the groceries. I met him in the kitchen. I leaned on the counter and looked at him. He had a casual look on his face as he finished unpacking all the items we bought but when he saw me looking at him, his grin told me he was ready for me.

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"Hmm... I think I'm ready to explore your wonderland right now..." and he came up to me and held me in his arms while his lips and tongue found my neck.

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But I wanted to do something first so I gently pushed him back from me a bit and said, "Come with me."

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Namjoon grinned as I'm sure he thought we were going into my bedroom but when we turned to go back down the stairs I heard his doubts,

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"Ahhh... Isn't your bedroom the other way?"

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I tried not to giggle, "We're not going to my bedroom," and I kept his hand in mine as I took him back outside.

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I took him by the main door and closed it. We stood side by side looking at it. He was actually quiet but he was looking at me from the side. I know he would've been confused but then I began to explain things to him.

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"I have never love and trusted anyone as much as I love and trust you. I've had issues with both as you can see with what happened earlier in the supermarket with Dom. He really did a number on me but thankfully with lots of prayers and God putting the right people into my life, I was able to conquer those fears and I could live a normal life." I turned to look at him, "I was so afraid when Dom almost hit Sherry today and I thought I was going to fall to the ground and break but then I felt your arms come around me. You protected me and made me feel safe. You've done what no one could ever do in my life and I want you to know that you have the key to my heart."

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I then typed on the keypad for the security system in my house. I took his hand and placed his finger on the finger pad. There was also a backup system of a hand print, retinal and voice ID so I guided him as to what to do. I saw his smile when he said his name in the system and I squeezed his hand when we were done.

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"Now you have the key to my home as well. You can come as go as you please. We are the only two who will have access here. Not even Anni has this. I didn't want Dom to pressure her into coming in as he has done so in the past so the only way anyone can get in is through either you or me."

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Namjoon put his arms around my waist and gently kissed me, "I'm deeply honoured."

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But it wasn't complete. I had to show him the entire system so we went back upstairs into my office area and I showed him the logistics of everything. When I told him about the doorbell he couldn't help but smile.