"Joon's Dia"

(Chapter 23: Let's Go)

It took all of my will to control my sexual feelings right now. Blue was sitting on my lap and she was practically naked underneath her jacket and jeans. What was she doing to me? 'She didn't know you were coming, doofus.'  I reminded myself. True. I smiled on top of her hair as her smell filled every single part of me. My surprise was so good and I knew this was where we belonged: in each other's arms. We needed each other especially as she was about to bury her loved one.

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She rubbed her hand on the lapel of my coat and even though she didn't touch my actual skin, I felt all the hairs on my body raise at her touch. She had that effect on me as I did on her. I put my fingers through her loose strands of hair and listened as she spoke. God I missed this. Little touches, sweet strong smells, the warmth of her skin on mine. I couldn't think of how wonderful it would be to have her naked in my arms. I'd be a mess of course. I'd be so nervous and even though I was good in bed, if I do say so myself, Blue knocked me into another dimension. Around her I was humble, thoughtful, out of sorts as to my next move and I never felt the need to protect someone so badly. Since I met her, I wasn't my cool and macho man self as I would normally be with other women.

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My past late night sex-escapades were done incognito. I would always wear a mask and T would always make sure that the girls were checked-out and clean. The last time I chose a girl on my own accord was my ex, Sophia. We met at university before I became a mega star. She was a lecturer's daughter. They had moved to South Korea from the US. Sophia's mother got the job at our institution and she enrolled as a student. We were put into a study group together and began courting soon after. She was my first. I was seriously nerdy back then and was so thrilled that the pretty new girl was taking an interest in me but things dissipated for us six months after.

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Sophia was very pretty and flirtatious. When I thought we were exclusive to each other, she wasn't on the same wavelength as me. One evening I realised I needed a certain book for my studies and went to the library to get it. She told me that she was going by her friend so they could study but she failed to mention that her friend was only studying her tongue and her vagina. I found them fucking in the back of the stacks. The strange thing about our relationship was that the few times we had sex, Sophia didn't really make any sounds. She was rather calm and would only grunt a few times. I thought I was doing something wrong but she assured me that's how she liked it.

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So when I went looking for my book, I didn't hear anything at first. But as I got closer I heard a girl moaning. This was common as other students would take a chance to get a little nookie behind the stacks but what I didn't realised that this time the girl was my Sophia. She was moaning and groaning so loudly that I didn't believe it was her until I entered the area. She didn't see me as they just continued banging each other. I was distraught as any boy would be. Firstly she was fucking someone else and lastly, I had never heard or seen her like that before. She sounded like she was enjoying it which was always one of my concerns when we were having sex. It violently ripped my heart apart.

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The next day when I passed her straight, she stopped me. "Hey Nam-Nam." I'd always hated her nickname for me but I tolerated it because I thought she was my sweetheart. I shrugged her hand off of me and continued walking. She caught up with me and questioned, "Hey! What's the fucking deal?"

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"I don't know maybe you should tell me how your study night went with your friend." I was bitter and I had all these emotions rolling in me in waves. The tsunami was about to gush out.

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"Oh it was satisfying. How did yours go? Did you get the information for the assignment? I'm really thankful that you're on top of things."