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A drunken Sirius grinned lopsidedly down at her as he held the new marriage certificate high above his, and his wife's, head. A lighter flickered hungrily beneath, licking at the thick sheet of paper.
"You can't give me back without the receipt." He crooned in a slightly slurred manner, with that brilliant 'I'm so intelligent' look spread, like a non-existent butter, on his face.
"Sirius Black!" She yelled, her voice threatening as she jumped to reach the lighter.
He cackled with drunken delight as he took a step back from her as she lunged for the lighter. "But, we're married!" He whined. "No take backs! I'm your husband."
"No shit Sherlock." She grumbled as she followed his movements, grabbing ahold of one of his arms holding the lighter, dragging it down. "That is important, you prick!"
Sirius let out a shout of displeasure as she hauled him down, but he didn't retaliate. He was feeling rather too good to be irritated, not to mention drunk, and so was more likely to give up. "Psh. A piece of paper is nothing." He grumbled.
She successfully pulled the lighter out of his grip, after a good fight. "It's our marriage certificate, of course it's important."
He groaned in drunken irritation. "Just let me burn it already!" He said, attempting to grab hold on the lighter. If he wanted to burn a piece of paper, he certainly could, but she was making such a fuss about it for some reason. "It's not as if we're going to divorce or something!"
"You're tempting me." She warned, pointing the lighter at him.
"Hey, hey!" He yelped, backing away and holding out his hands. "Now, now, let's not get too extreme. Just let me burn the bloody thing." With a dramatic wave of his hand, he indicated to the certificate. As if that made it less important. "Pretty please?" He was actually smiling, although his attempt at a sultry look was a little crooked because of his intoxication.
"You are absolutely insufferable. If you burn it, you're sleeping on the couch for a week." She crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a look he knew all too well.
Sirius groaned, then threw up his arms in mock defeat. "Fine, fine.. if it means so much to you, fine." His eyes narrowed, the look he was giving her was one of barely concealed irritation at being prevented from burning the marriage certificate. "But you'll let me burn something else then, right? I'm feeling awfully destructive."
"Are you serious?" She opened her mouth to continue, but instead she ran a hand down over her face.
His only response was to grin, as if he had just delivered the most amusing joke in the world. "Dead serious. I'm feeling absolutely wild right now. I need, uh, something to destroy. I think I feel like destroying... one of your expensive dresses."
"What did I do to you!?" She exclaimed as she took quick notice that he wanted to destroy anything of value to her.
His lips turned up mischievously in a drunken grin. "Nothing, of course, darling!" He teased, his eyes narrowing suggestively as the alcohol in his system started to take over. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to destroy something."
He stepped closer to her, so they were practically pressed up against each other. "You know, I could always destroy you." He muttered as he looked her up and down. "I'm sure I would find that most enjoyable."
"Absolutely not." She grumbled, unhappily. "Not in this state of mind, you fool."
"Mm, you don't know what you're missing out on." He murmured, his eyes darkening from the alcohol and his hands inching closer and closer to her body. "Who cares about the consequences?" He let his mind drift off to all the things they could do, all the ways he could touch her, all the places he could mark her. If only she would let him...
She placed her hands on his chest. "You can barely even stand straight, are you mental?"
Sirius' grin became a bit lopsided as he placed his hands on top of hers. "I don't see why that's a problem." He crooned, feeling the buzz of the alcohol take over him.
"In fact.." He leaned closer to her, his breath hot on her cheek and neck. "I was thinking it might be even better if I can't stand straight."
She scrunched up her nose in disgust as she smelt the alcohol radiating off his breath. She used the hand she had on his chest to push him back. "Not happening. Go to bed." She pointed towards the stairs that led to their bedroom.
He huffed in irritation, feeling his drunken bravado starting to falter. "You're no fun." Noticing the slight sway in his movements as he attempted to stand straight, he let out another huff. "Fine. I go sleep." With a final glare in her direction, he proceeded to go upstairs to their bedroom.
"And don't you dare throw up on the bed again!" She yelled after him.
"Or what?" Sirius called out, his voice getting weaker as he stumbled up the stairs. "You know you love me too much to do anything about it."
There came a loud thump as he slammed into the bedroom door, causing the entire door to rattle.
