𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂, 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘰𝘯ᴬᵁ

[ 029 ] - We Never Leave A Grabber Kid Behind.

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Trigger Warnings for this chapter -
Implied child death, Implied murder, suicidal thoughts, depression, ptsd, implied the grabber, survivors guilt..

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Everyone went silent after that.

They all got very quiet, their emotions clear in their expressions, but they said nothing, the fact their lives has been cut short- that they'd never get to have a future, or be happy and alive...

it affected them heavily.

It was clear none of them were able to speak now for a long moment...

"I'm sorry" Steve whispered, he hated himself for reminding them, hated himself for even reminding himself of the fact they weren't really there anymore, even when they felt like they really were.

All five of the ghosts suddenly snapped out of their dark, sad states, all suddenly turning their attention back to Steve and all clearly startled at his sudden interjection.

Their expressions suddenly shifted again to looks of concern as they looked at Steve, not sure what he was apologising for...

Billy suddenly spoke up in a gentle, confused tone, "what for, Finney?"

"That I made it out, and all five of you didn't" Steve whispered, his voice broke slightly at the weight of not only the conversation but also the guilt that Steve felt and had been feeling about it for the past four years..

It was clear that that statement struck them, the fact they hadn't even considered that- that they hadn't realised that Steve probably and most likely felt guilty..

After a long moment, Griffin suddenly spoke up, his tone soft, "Finn.. why would you apologise for living?"

"Why would I? I should of died back in that basement" Steve admitted what he felt, it felt slightly better to finally have someone know how he really felt, but it still sucked.

All five boys suddenly grew concerned at that, all of them growing surprised and worried now as they all went silent for a long moment, silently processing that statement.

After a moment though, Vance was the one to speak up next, his tone strongly concerned, "Finn, please tell me you don't actually think that?"

Steve just gave him a small smile, not daring to answer him making all of them grow even more concerned at that, their looks full of concern and worry now, their previous sadness completely replaced by a new, deeper, worry..

Billy spoke up softly, his tone a bit pleading, "Finney, please.. tell me you don't really wish you'd died back then..", as the other four boys shared a deeply concerned look at the question, the thought Steve might actually wish he had died with the rest of them was hurting them all to hear, silently pleading with Finney to confirm he wasn't really hoping to have died back then...

"I don't lie to you guys, you know that" Steve whispered as he looked away making the others all go silent for a long moment at that- their looks growing even more pleading as their brows furrowed.

It felt so unnatural to hear their Finn suggest he wished he died instead of surviving..

After a moment though, Bruce spoke up gently in a sad tone, "do you have any idea how horrifying those words sound to us?"

"..I know, but it's the truth.. and friends shouldn't lie to each other" Steve said as he looked over to them but quickly looked away again when he saw how sad they all looked now.

They all grew even more worried at the suggestion, especially that Steve suggested the reason he'd said it was 'friends shouldn't lie to each other'.

All of them looked utterly distressed now, their eyes growing wider as Vance spoke up, "Finn- do you think we're upset you fucking survived?" Making Steve just hum as he sat on the sofa in the living room.

They all suddenly looked utterly heartbroken now, devastated and miserable the idea that Finney genuinely thought that they were upset that he survived.

after a long moment, Robin spoke up, his tone pleading and devastated as he said quietly, "Cariño, please.. please don't ever, ever say that again, you think we'd hold it against you for surviving?"

"..I'm not this- I'm not strong, like- like Finney was, I'm just weak and pathetic Steve now and I just, I wanted you guys to survive and I feel like it's all my fault you didn't, you know? Like, like I could of done more or something.." Steve ranted slightly.

That left all the boys looking utterly devastated now, the five of them all struggling with the overwhelming emotions they were feeling from that.

After a long moment, Griffin spoke up softly, his tone gentle and understanding as he spoke, "Finn.. you're wrong. It's not your fault we died and we don't blame you at all.. we don't hate you for surviving, Finn, so please, please don't ever think that again..."

"..I'm sorry, Griff" Steve said softly making Griffin shake his head at the apology, his expression and tone growing increasingly sad and pleading as he started wrapping his arms around Steve's shoulders since he decided to sit next to him now, "we don't blame you for living, we're happy you did survive, so, please don't ever suggest you shouldn't have.. we love you Finn"

"Yeah? ..I love you all too" Steve smiled slightly as he leaned slightly into the hug that Griffin was attempting to give him.

The boys all suddenly went soft at the statement, all of them suddenly seeming completely overwhelmed now, their expressions quickly shifting from sadness and worry to affection.

Billy was the one to speak up next, his tone affectionate, "Finney.. come here.."

Steve got up slowly once Griffin let go of him and stood in front of the five of them once again before the five boys immediately pulled Steve into a crushing hug pile, their arms wrapping tightly around Steve's body and holding him close, and all five began to speak affectionately towards him, their voices overlapping with one another..

"I'm gonna suffocate by hugs" Steve stated with a small chuckle and the boys took that as the opportunity to only hug even tighter, holding Steve even closer than before.

All five were practically squeezing the air out of him as they buried him in their arms, still continuing to speak quietly and affectionately and Steve couldn't help but break down as he silently cried in all their arms.

The five boys all just held him as he cried, their arms tightening around him even more as they listened to the small cries that managed to escape him.

After a moment though, Vance suddenly spoke up quietly, his tone slightly rough but also gentle, "wanna know a secret, Finney Blake?.. one that'll make the pain feel better?" as Steve remained quiet, but nodded weakly, clearly intrigued by what Vance was going to say.

Vance smiled in response, his expression and tone growing even more affectionate as he told him quietly, "well, the secret is, Finney Blake.. we love you. We all love you so, so much. And that pain you feel, it'll always be there, it'll always hurt and linger, but it'll get easier and you'll never feel it alone, because we'll always be here. And we'll always love you no matter what..

..Because you were one of us, Finney motherfucking Blake, you were a Grabber Kid.. and we never leave a Grabber Kid behind."