Curse of Love [Free Space Series #2]

CHAPTER 46: Love

"No, baby, I don't want." Umiling siya at hinawakan ako sa kamay. 
 
I tried pulling it back, but she just wouldn't let go of it. Iritado ko siyang tinignan. Akmang magsasalita na sana pero kaagad din akong natigil nang lumapit siya sa'kin at yakapin ako. 
 
"Stop it," I sighed. "Lynpen, stop." 
 
"A-Ayaw ko, ayaw ko ng cool off. I don't want it."
 
"But I do want it." 
 
Umiling ulit siya at mas hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap sa'kin. She's acting so scared, as if she didn't manage not to talk to me for a week.

"Ayaw ko, please, okay na ako. I don't want space anymore—let's.. let's just start over again." 
 
"It's not that easy," Kumalas ako sa yakap niya at iniling ang ulo. "This relationship works with the two of us. Hindi p'wedeng kapag okay ka na, dapat okay narin ako. I have feelings too, Lynpen. And you kept on hurting me." 
 
"I'm sorry," hinawakan niya nanaman ang kamay ko kaya tinulak ko ulit ito. "Sab-" 
 
"Look, I know this is your first time having a relationship with someone, so I'm trying my best to understand and be gentle with you, but you're already crossing the line." Hinilot ko ang sentido dahil sa sakit ng ulo. "You can't just be with him while you're asking me to give you some space." 
 
"I didn't ask him to go with me, siya ang kusang-"

"No, it doesn't work like that. Wala akong pakialam kahit na siya pa ang umaya sa'yo. You're in a relationship with me, so you must be aware that it will hurt my feelings the moment I find out that the two of you are together." 

Mukhang nakuha niya ang sinabi ko dahil natahimik siya. 

"Tapos hindi ka manlang nagsabi sa'kin. Mukhang hindi mo rin sasabihin kung hindi pa ako nagalit sa'yo. Parang hindi mo nga rin ako pupuntahan dito kung hindi mo lang nakita yung message ko sa'yo." 
 
"I'm sorry,"
 
"Hindi tayo okay, hindi ka nag r-reply sa mga chats ko. Tapos malalaman ko kasama mo siya. Ano sa tingin mong mararamdaman ko?" 
 
"I'm sorry," she murmured again, looking down and playing with her fingers. 
 
 "Isa pa 'yan. Sorry won't always solve everything. Kahit na ilang beses ka pang manghingi ng tawad sa'kin, kung nasaktan mo na ako, wala ring mangyayari. It's only upsetting me more."
 
She nodded while biting her lower lips, still looking down and not looking at me. Napabuntong hininga ako habang diretso parin ang tingin sa kan'ya. 
 
"Are you regretting what you did?" 
 
Tumango siya. 
 
"Gets mo na kung sa'n ka mali?" 
 
Tumango ulit siya. 
 
"Uulitin mo?" 
 
Umiling siya. 
 
"Fine. Come here." Itinaas ko ang dalawang braso para salubungin siya ng yakap. 
 
She immediately did what I said, so I wrapped my arms around her. When I looked at her, she was already crying. Pero yung iyak niya, walang tunog. Nahihiya rin siyang ipakita ang mukha sa'kin dahil umiiwas siya sa tuwing sisilipin ko siya. 

"Why are you crying?"

"B-Because I feel ashamed for making you feel that way."

I nod my head, simply to agree with her. "Yeah, you should."
 
Para akong nag-aalaga ng bata sa ginagawa ko. Obviously, she lacks enough knowledge when it comes to this. 

I sighed.

"I'm trying to make this relationship work, Lynpen. So please, please, don't do something that will make me regret everything." 
 
Hinalikan ko siya sa noo at mas hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap. We both sacrificed our friendship for this. Hindi ako papayag na mauwi lang sa wala.
 
"I deeply apologize for what I did." Mahinang usal niya habang nasa dibdib ko ang mukha. Ayaw ipakita sa'kin. "I promise, that won't happen again." 
 
Inangat niya ang ulo niya at tumingin saakin. My brows raised a little as I stared at her. 
 
"I-I.. also want our relationship to work. I don't want this to end." Her lips are trembling as she says that. 
 
"Hmm." I nodded my head. 
 
"I want to punish myself for hurting you. It's not my intention to do that, naguguluhan ako sa mga nangyayari the past few days kaya nanghingi ako ng space. I shouldn't have done that."