A/N: one more chapter before epilogue. stay positive HAHAHA.
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Life is unfair.
That's what they said.
When I was young, I used to disagreed with it, because I thought nasa tao lang 'yun. Nasa tao ang problema.
Not until this night came.
Naniniwala na ako.
Life is somehow unfair.
Bakit siya pa? Bakit ang mahal ko pa ang kinuha?
The moment the doctor announced her time of death, natulala ako. Natulala ako habang patuloy na umaagos ang luha ko. Sumakit ang dibdib ko.
All I think about right now is also death. Gusto ko na lang biglang maputulan ng hininga at sumunod sakanya.
I was staring at her beautiful face while nurse are trying to drag me outside the emergency room. Hindi na ako nagpatinang, hinang-hina na ako para lumaban pa. I let them dragged me.
Paglabas ko, bumungad sa'kin ang nanay niya, si Zoe, at si River.
Naga-alalang tumingin sa'kin si River, samantalang 'yung dalawa ay nanatiling seryoso.
They immediately stood up when I stepped forward. Tulala akong nakatingin sakanila.
But instead of stopping on them, nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad. River grabbed my wrist pero may humila sakanya, letting me walked away from them.
I found my self infront of the hospital chapel. Deretso ang tingin ko sa nakapakong katawan ng Panginoon.
I slowly step forward until I reached the end of the chapel. Walang tao. Solo ko ang lugar.
Matagal akong nakatitig sa mukha ng Panginoon na duguan.
"B-bakit, L-lord?" I started. Kasabay non ang panghihina ng tuhod ko kaya ay napaluhod ako sa malamig na sahig.
I rested my palm on my thighs as I bow my head while my unstoppable tears drop on the floor.
"G-grabe namang p-pagsubok 'to"
I want to screech, I want to punch something, I want to destroy something because of pain.
How did I still manage to manage my pain after all of this?
I don't know.
Even Him, hindi ko na nararamdaman ang binibigay niyang lakas. Ubos na ubos na ako. Gusto ko na lang magpahinga at kalimutan ang lahat ng 'to.
How I wish this is just a nightmare. How I wish I was just a grade 2 student who was asleep in her classroom and someone will wake me up from this... and I hope that someone is her, my pumpkin.
Can you do it, Lord?
"She has a emphysema."
Nahigit ko ang sariling hininga nang marinig ang boses ni Zoe.
"Stage 4 of emphysema." Pagka-klaro neto.
I didn't answer. Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaluhod at umupo sa upuang nasa harapan. Tumabi siya sa'kin.
Emphysema is a chronic respiratory disease and a form of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. This is dangerous for a person who has it. This disease is dangerous, kaunti lang ang nakaka-survive.
And she's one of those who didn't survived.
"W-why did she hide it?" I asked.
She sighed. "She loved you. I forced her to tell you because we both know you can help her, but she didn't do it, she broke up with you instead."
