tratie one shots

Friends p.2

Travis:
I continued out the door, refusing the look back in case Katie followed me. She was the smartest person I knew, and any smart person would stay to go after the guy they were obsessed with.

I was an idiot. The dumbest idiot to ever walk the planet, and I was completely in love with my best friend. I wish I could say I only realized it when we kissed, or the first time we did our movie night, but there was never a time I wasn't in love with her. It was always us against the world.

For the past ten years, I managed to keep myself in check. I didn't kiss her whenever she laughed at my jokes, no matter how cute she looked. I didn't grab her hand and tug her to my side, no matter how cold she said she was. And no matter how badly I wanted to tell her I loved her, I didn't.

I dated other girls, like Rebecca, with the stupid idea that I could get over Katie. But I would never not be in love with her. When I realized this, after dating Rebecca for about a month, I broke up with her.

When I propositioned our fake dating scheme, I did genuinely think it would help me. If my mom asked what had happened with Rebecca, I knew I would have no choice but to admit that I was head over heels in love with Katie.

I've been selfish. Now that we are "dating" I brazenly take every opportunity to be with her that I can. I constantly do the things I told myself I never could, and it has both made me feel alive, and has slowly started to kill me. Because even if Katie squeezes my hand and smiles that secret smile only a few people get, I know that for her, it's for show.

When I saw Ryan smiling his sleazy smile at Katie, I felt that same fury as when she got bullied in middle school. It wasn't jealousy, because what did I have to be jealous of? Just anger, because he was such an asshole, but Katie would never see it.

"Travis!" I heard an all too familiar voice call out. I froze, completely unsure of what to do. If I looked at her, I didn't think I couldn't kiss her. I rooted my feet to the driveway, and refused to turn.

"Go back inside, Katie. It's freezing out." Internally begging her to leave, I shoved my hands in my pockets, telling myself over and over not to turn back.

"Yeah, no way is that happening." Katie retorted, and I realized she was angry. No, not angry. Furious.

I turned, catching her pink cheeks and crossed arms, green eyes flaring with indignation. God, she was so beautiful.

"Seriously, Katie Kat, it's like twenty degrees out." I glared at her, taking in her shivering form. As always, she didn't relent, but only scowled deeper.

"What happened to no kissing?" She demanded, almost making me laugh. Katie was no bullshit, and felt no need to dance around the elephant in the room. Or the driveway.

I kept my face intentionally blank, crossing my arms to mimic her pose, even as my heart started going a million miles a second.

"What 'no kissing'?" I replied, doing everything in my power to hide just how badly I wanted to kiss her again.

"When you had the whole dating idea. We were talking about rules and you said we wouldn't kiss, just hold hands or whatever. Now that's revoked?" She was glaring at me in full force, and I honestly just wanted to laugh and hug her right now. She looked so cute.

I smirked. "Been thinking about that rule for a while now, huh?"

"Shut up. Why did you kiss me?" She asked, unrelenting in her questioning.

"Ryan was watching." I shrugged, feigning indifference. Expectedly, Katie got more mad.

"No way. That's the stupidest reason I've ever heard. Ryan has been 'watching' for a month and you never kissed me. Why. Now."

I faltered.

"I dunno."

She let out an exasperated laugh, arms swinging to the side. "Oh my God. You can't be serious. Why did you kiss me? You weren't possessed for all I know, so why?" She shouted angrily.

"Cause I wanted to!" I shouted back, just as frustrated as she was. "Why does it matter?"

Katie stomped in front of me, anger rolling off of her in waves. "Of course it matters! We've been friends for ten years, you kiss me, and all of a sudden nothing matters?" She demanded.

"You want to be with Ryan."

"Ryan has nothing to do with this! And don't flip the kiss on me. You initiated that kiss after over a month of us pretending."

"So you didn't want me to kiss you?" I asked angrily, staring into her vibrant green eyes. Her cheeks were bright red, from both the fight and the cold, and if she wasn't furious with me, I would give her my zip up.

She hesitated, still glaring at me. "Was it real or fake?"

Now it was my turn to hesitate. I took a step back, needing space from her to think clearly. I didn't want to say either. If I said fake, it would be a lie. But if I said real? I would be opening myself up to admitting my feelings, and causing her to stop being friends with me, and also probably hate me.

"Real or fake, Travis?" She asked softly, the anger deflating to pure exhaustion. She looked so tired and desperate for an answer, I wanted to bring her right back into my arms.

I remembered the look on her face after I kissed her: pure panic. But I also remembered how miserable I was every time Katie would talk about her crush on Ryan, and the way I wanted to scream at her every time she talked about no one ever liking her that way.

"Real." I sighed, hands dropping in defeat. "Of course it was real, Katie. I've never been fake to you."

Her brows furrowed, even as she looked concerned. "But everything else. Was it real?"

"Yeah, for me it always has been."

She said nothing, staring at me with emotion shining in her eyes. I waited for a response, and when I got nothing, I turned around. I couldn't accept the fact that she didn't feel the same way in front of her. I needed to go home and wallow in self pity for at least a day before I could even face anyone.

My shoulders dropped. The disappointment was crushing, especially because not only did she not feel the same, but we also couldn't even be friends anymore.

"So that's it?" She demanded from behind me.

I turned around, "What else is there?" I asked hopelessly.

"I've been in love with you since the first day we met." I started, ignoring the way Katie gasped softly. "I have never ever felt this way about anyone in my life before, and it's terrifying. Do you understand that? That for the past ten years, not a day goes by where I don't think about you? How we hang out every day, and I've never been able to tell you, because I knew this would happen? If you think I only started liking you in the last month because I was jealous or some shit, you're dead wrong. I've always loved you, and I don't think I can live without loving you."

I squeezed my eyes shut as my head hung. "I'm sorry Katie. I know we can't be friends anymore and I get that. I just can't fight it anymore."

I let myself look at her shocked face and shivering frame one more time before turning around. I had only walked ten steps when I felt a hand grasp my arm, turning me to face her.

"Then don't." Katie said, pushing herself up to kiss me. For a second, I was frozen still, convinced this had to be the most realistic fantasy ever.

I smiled, wrapping my arms around her and tugging her as close as I could, never getting enough of her.

She pulled back to press her forehead to mine, green eyes wide and teasing, "If you think I don't love you, then you are even dumber than you look, Travis."

I stepped back, slipping my zip up off my shoulders, and onto hers. "There. Movie time?" I asked, pulling her back towards me as we headed to my car.

Katie rested her head against my shoulder before murmuring, "Movie time."