Belladonna | 18 +

Seventy four | Pack it up & new normals

✺ 3 months later ✺

The last three months have been hard, to say the least. I miss Birdie so much. More to an I needed too.

We'd spent only six weeks together in the summer, I took her to Italy and things felt good again until I had to say goodbye,

All over again.

That was hard.

I did everything I could to not miss her so much, I threw myself into work and traveled a little. But nothing seems to work. It felt like everywhere I went I was looking for her, in all the little things I always thought "If Birdie was with me, we'd do that" or "If my girlfriend was here, she'd like that" It was hard.

But everywhere I went, it was like I was finding little excuses to see her in things. I thought about texting her a few times, telling her I miss her and that I love her but the no contact was best for us.

It was something we'd decided on during summer. We talked about weekly phone calls but then that seemed like we were hanging on to that all week and not focusing on other things, so she had the idea for the no contact, at least until we saw each other again.

The first few days of that were hard but it got easier. At least until I saw her in a coffee shop. Seeing her again was like waking up one day on a summer's day after being stuck in a cycle of cold temperatures for so long.

She was sitting with Ava and Ivan, smiling as they all talked about something. She seemed so peaceful and less stressed. She seemed like she was less stressed and finally had a moment to herself. I couldn't help but smile at the simple sight of her. 

As good as it was to see her, it also made me realise, I needed a change.

So that night, I started packing up my house. I called a realtor and put my house on sale. After a week, I had an official offer which I grabbed and left. I took everything that I wanted with me and got on a one-way plane with Loki and Juno to New York.

While at the airport, I called Valentina and told her I'd take the job she'd offered me earlier if it was still open.

She said it was and the job was mine. I thanked her, told her I'd start in two days, and boarded my flight. When I landed, I had to find a hotel for a while until I got a house, which wasn't long, but it was a temporary place. I didn't like it much and simply didn't feel like me, but after all, it was temporary.

I started my job and surprisingly these kids didn't seem so bad—at least the seniors, the juniors were feral. Still, this was my new normal.

Valentina and Stella helped with the adjustment. Often nights I was at one of their houses while we all talked and simply just drank some wine.

The only downside was I didn't have birdie next to me. But as time went on, I knew I'd made the right decision for both of us. She was doing well and I was too.

This little time we didn't spend together would all be worth it in the future. When we could sit on our couch one day, drinking wine as we looked at the stars at night, or we'd curl up next to a fireplace like she loves to do in the winter.

Knowing that, that could all be a possibility for us kept me going for the first month I moved.

However it's been three months since all that, and now it's the holidays, and it's New Year's Eve.

Sasha and Nadia are here with their girlfriends. Nadia's girlfriend and Sasha's fiancée.

"So who else is coming tonight?" Sasha asked as she helped me set up my house for tonight.