Belladonna | 18 +

Seventy six | If and/or when

✺ Kira's POV ✺

I got home and Ava and Nadia were already in my driveway. I'd recently moved here just a week ago with the thought in my mind that I'd be moving into this place with my girlfriend.

My now ex-girlfriend.

I decided on the place with things we both liked but ones she liked more. There were Yankee candles everywhere because I knew she loved them.

I bought log wood because there's nothing more that Birdie loves than a good fire—even in the summer if it's outside, she makes s'mores so I bought log wood for the fire pit outside and the fireplace inside.

There were all kinds of potted plants that sat around the house because those were the only things she could take care of and I started growing magnolias in our garden because they're her favorite flower and they're extremely hard to find.

Upstairs in what would be our room, I made space in the closet so we'd both have enough space and in our bathroom, I stocked up on face masks and all her favorite shower stuff.

But now it's not worth it anymore. We're not together anymore and that's a choice she made.

I'll never stop her from being happy and if the break was too much for her, I rather she'd be happy rather than worrying over so much.

It just sucks because I felt like my insides were breaking, my heart fell like it was officially splitting in two and everything burned.

I'd never felt like this before. I hate it so much.

"Are you okay?" Nadia asked.

"I'm sorry Ki, I told her she shouldn't have done it because there's so much more at play here rather than just being apart for now." Ava chimed in.

"I'm fine," I said flatly as I unlocked my door.

I took Loki's leash off and he didn't immediately run to the garden, instead, he went to the living room and sat in front of the fireplace.

That's where Birdie and him would always sit when I wasn't home. I felt like my dog understood what was going on and that hurt me even more.

"You just got broken up with, you're not okay," Nadia said.

"I'm fine," I repeated myself.

"Kira, seriously if I call Birdie now, she'll be crying, you can't tell me you're fine," Ava said.

"So call her, talk to her, console her I don't know Ava, she's your friend—she's just an ex to me now," I said harshly making the poor brunette girl standing in my kitchen.

I placed my hands on the counter and sighed deeply. I wasn't fine.

I'd done all this for us—I bought her a house. One that felt like home.

It was nothing like the one in Italy but she wanted a place that felt like home and this was it.

There were pictures of us up in the place for God's sake, this—us, our home was something she'd come back to after graduation. Me and her.

But it's gone. All because she decided for us.

I wasn't looking for a lot, just her. She was all I needed. And screw being held back, she could've chained me to a chair and told me to sit and wait and I'd do it all because I knew at the end of it all, I'd be with her.

She was all I cared about.

Birdie was truly the first woman I'd ever loved. I loved Lucy but not like this. This felt deeper, for me. Birdie was it.