Belladonna | 18 +

Fifty eight | Denial & more denial

✺ Kira's POV ✺

Second week back on campus and it's the third week of January. Exactly what I need, my year to get rolling.

It's been almost two weeks since Birdie and I saw each other properly. She spends simple days in my office and none of that really equates to how much time I want to actually spend with her.

Moreover, it's all over simple things like paperwork or proper TA sessions. We've barely spent anytime together and it's driving me insane. All I want to do is just be with her for some time.

But I wouldn't put her degree in jeopardy like the. She needs her degree more than she needs me and I will forever stand in that.

I have everything ahead of me, job, money, degrees, and a life away from teaching, Birdie doesn't. She needs that first and foremost.

So for now, I'll settle for the soft moments and interactions we have.

Which is why this morning, I'm in my office two hours earlier than normal and it's also why Birdie is coming in early today.

During the mornings the hallway is basically empty, no one is in except me this morning. This means Birdie can come in earlier and we can just spend some time together, nothing elaborate just some actual time spent with my girlfriend.

Over New Year's I realized some things about myself that I never really knew. After Lucy, I'd shut myself into many people, I was the hook-up and sneak-out in-the-middle-of-the-night type, but with Birdie, I long for the little moments with her.

The ones that seemed to feel like the whole world was fading away and nothing else mattered except us two. No one else mattered either. The feeling I'd get when I looked into her brown eyes, every other pair seemed so unappealing and only hers caught my attention.

I longed to hold her and press small kisses to her forehead. Watch her cheeks burn up whenever I'd compliment her over the smallest things or her lean into my touch.

Before Birdie, I was never much of a physical touch person, it wasn't something I liked very much but when Birdie would hold my hand it became something familiar and that I longed for.

She's broken down those walls for me. She's broken down many more—ones I didn't even know were up. She got through them and she's the only person running circles in my head.

All of this out together, makes me realize, I love her. Sasha and I spent a few minutes talking about it over New Year's.

The entire night that night, I couldn't peel my eyes off her. She didn't notice but even catching a glimpse of her across the room I could feel my heartbeat quicken and a smile coats my lips.

I do love this girl.

I started typing out a few emails before she came in so that I've she was here, I'd be able to give her my full attention.

My door cracked open a little and my girlfriend leaned her head through. A smile instantly coated my lips when I saw it was her.

"Hi pretty girl," she smiled and walked in with two coffees in her hands along with pastries. "I brought us croissants," she smiled and closed the door behind her.

"Thank you bambina," I smiled and she walked over to me. She placed everything down and I opened my arms for her.

Just as I thought, she took a seat in my lap and buried her head in my neck. I missed the feeling of her being so close to her. "I missed this," she said against my skin.

"Me too amore. Me too." I kissed her cheek.

"Can I come over this weekend?" She asked me.

"I'll do you one better," I said and she got up to look at me. "I was thinking we could go into Los Angeles this weekend. I know it's a bit of a long drive but we can leave after your last class and we'll arrive there in the evening." I said to her with a smile. "I just think we need a weekend away—like I promised. So we can just be a couple again like we were in New York."