The App: App-ocalypse (1)

Day 4 - Being Safe

We're in our new home !

I'd never thought I'd be happy to go to school, but here it is: I'm happy to be here. I woke up earlier than Anna expected, probably because I was still excited about our decision. We packed our things really quick (which was easy since we already did a lot by ourselves during the night) and we went as soon as we could.

The streets are a terrifying place to be. There were corpses everywhere. Corpses or Sleepers, it's sometimes hard to tell the difference and as I pointed it out before I think the difference won't last long now. I guess I should have be prepared for that, but I wasn't. As soon as I went on the pavement, I vomited. I can't even begin to describe how it was but to be clear it wasn't seeing the dead bodies that made me sick. It has more to do with smelling them. It was horrible. I don't want to go back there. I hope we can find a way to stay in the building forever. Even if I somehow hope things will get better.

Anna is taking a shower in the locker room right now and I'm supposed to be unpacking my things, but I don't want to do it. Unpacking here means that this really my new home, a thought I'm still trying to get use to (hence my first sentence today, yes).

Of course we discussed it a lot yesterday and it's probably the best place to be right now, given that this a big building. We are protected by a lot of locks (Anna opened and closed every one of them very carefully) and we had move on the higher rooms without windows we could found. So we're in the seventh floor (well I am and Anna is currently on the first floor because that is where the locker room are located). We let the doors of rooms with windows opened so that we have some dim light to see what we're doing.

As soon as we arrived Anna picked one of the classroom and unpacked her stuff, clothes and food and souvenirs. She really moved on from what just happened on our way there and made the neutral room feel like her own. I don't know that I can do that. I guess a part of me is still caught in the past and doesn't want to consider a classroom as a normal bedroom. I kind of admire Anna right now even though I think she is making this place a home just as a way to cope with the situation.

We saw - and did - a lot of awful things this morning. Things that I don't want to remember, things that I won't talk about right now because I just can't process with them - yes dad, even writing them wouldn't help me.

My home wasn't that far from school but at each step we were taking we couldn't help but hold our breath, fearing that someone would see us, follow us, attack us, kill us. We were probably a bit paranoid but those robbers are a terrifying idea to deal with. A lot of us, survivors of the App-ocalypse, are probably okay with doing whatever it takes to stay alive. Anna asked me again some questions about the riot when I woke up. I think she doesn't believe everything I said to her. I envy her for that.

She can choose not to believe me. She can believe that I'm just a teenager exaggerating some things, which is probably partly true. However, I do know what I saw. I did see the bloodbath. And I can't choose not to believe it because it was real - painfully real. She can choose all those things but she can't choose to erase what she just did on the street. Maybe I shouldn't envy her that much because she... I really can't write it right now.

Anyway now we're both in school and we agreed to stay there a little bit, living on our own and with our supplies. Of course we didn't knock at any door on our way there... Way too dangerous.

It's so weird to be here, in my old classroom looking at corpses on the street through the window. Even if I know Anna is right there with me, I still feel terribly alone. I miss my parents and Cassandra. I miss my old life and I really wish I could go back there... Which is something I've already wrote.

I think I have nothing new to write which mean I'm getting into the painful step of wishful thinking. Well... I'm gonna try to unpack my bag after all.