The App: App-ocalypse (1)

Day 27 - Losing her mind

I have seen a lot of things during my short life - a lot of crazy things and a lot of deaths, from my mother having cancer to John probably dying from radiations. But I had never seen anyone as crazy as Adriana. She completely lost her mind, and we couldn't do anything about it.

Michael woke me up this morning screaming my name. The sound of his voice startled me - we've all been living in silence since Adriana stopped speaking yesterday. I knew instinctively something was wrong - I couldn't feel Anna near me. When I opened my eyes I felt tears coming through my eyes because there was too much light. Light? Yes, the door was open.

I immediately stood up, looking everywhere around me. Michael seemed afraid by my reaction and.. That's all. Anna and Adriana were nowhere to be seen. I ran outside the haven screaming their names.

The air felt so weird in my lungs. I coughed but continued screaming looking everywhere in the corridor. John's body wasn't there anymore. I turned back to Michael but he stayed in the cave, protecting his eyes from the light. Yes, it wasn't until that moment I realised he could see again. Except he can't: he just sees shapes of things and light, everything is still blurred. I don't know anything about eyes and ophthalmology but I guess it's a good thing.

I hugged him - instinctively again - because I was genuinely glad for him. Then I questioned him.

Apparently Adriana stood up during the night and went out of the haven. Our night was apparently in the middle of the day since the sun was up. The light woke up Michael who couldn't believe his eyes. He's been totally blind for more than a week !

He woke up Anna who was next to him to tell her the good news but she didn't listen to him and went directly after Adriana when she understood what happened. That's when he woke me up.

Still coughing, I ran outside again - and I ran outside the house. Anna was there, coming back to the farm. Seeing her made me feel a vague of joy and warmed me up. The sun was up in the sky and she seemed to shine because she was walking on ashes.

Ashes. That's about it - the entire landscape was white ashes. I couldn't see anything but that, that and Anna of course. Fields around the farm were covered by dust and ashes which colored them in a pale bright white. Anna sharply stood out from this picture.

I walked toward her and hugged her - instinctively. I had been so scared. I was about to kiss her because I couldn't think anymore - she was there and alive, nothing happened to her. I made my move and was this close to kiss her. However she took my hand and quickly made me run inside the house, saying it wasn't safe for us to be outside. I couldn't care less of radiations because she was alive. Obviously she cared about radiations.

Next thing I know we're back on the haven, in the dark and she told us what happened: when she stormed out through the door Adriana was already outside, walking toward the corn field - or what had been a corn field before the explosion.

Adriana was carrying John's body toward it and screamed at Anna to stay away from her. Still Anna decided to follow her to convince her to come back because it wasn't safe. She didn't care, she wanted to burry John in the field and had decided to go look after Anton afterward.

Yes, she abandoned us for her "real family". Michael sobbed a lot in the corner of the haven. Anna decided to go take a shower in the house to get rid off the radiation or at least try to - we don't know anything about how it works and she was covered with dust. I asked her if I could come with her for the same reason but she looked shocked by my question. I guess that was a faux pas in our relationship, whatever the hell is our relationship.

She's been weird since I asked her that even though I tried to justify my question - saying it was to save up water and spend less time outside the haven.

Still I took a shower after her and it was so cool - yes it was cold water but it was nice to feel clean again. Feeling the water on my skin was an extra good feeling and I just closed my eyes to think. I pictured Adriana running away from the farm and Anna, while carrying John and speaking to him - because she was speaking to his corpse according to Anna. She's so crazy. She just lost it. To be honest it's exactly what I fear right now. I'm afraid to lose control of myself because of the dark and of all the crazy things that happened to me during this past month. I did try to kiss Anna and to take a shower with her. I must be starting to lose it.

I'm more afraid of that than anything else - and I'm still not calm about Michael's health even though he stopped complaining about his stomach aches. I don't want anything to happen to him.

Ok let's face it I'm also afraid of losing Anna. Her reaction just shook me out of my new confidence with her. Not that I was that confident... Oh crap what have I done?