The App: App-ocalypse (1)

Day 34 - Missing Anna

I don't know where I am.

I miss Anna. I don't even know if she's alive. Please, let her be alive. And my face hurts so much.

Michael is sleeping on my knees. We're in a jeep and we don't know who the driver is. I'm scared again – even though it's cristal clear they don't want to hurt us. They had more time than they needed to hurt us – and they didn't. I don't know who they are. I don't know what they want from me. I'm scared but I'm strangely peaceful at the same time.

My left hand is tied to the car with handcuffs. He's driving silently. I don't know where we're going. We left Anna behind.

They left Anna behind. Anna.

How can Michael sleep? I am so confused right now. I just want to hold Anna in my arms. Anna. I want to know if she's alive. I'm scared and I need her. I need my dad. I need someone else than Michael. Michael is great – of course he is – but I have to be strong for him because I'm the only "adult" he knows. Adult? Who am I kidding? Certainly not me. Anna is the adult of the situation. Was. She was the adult. Anna...

At least I can write on my diary today, they didn't take off the handcuffs yesterday. Now I can write what happened even though one of my wrist is still tied up to the car. I sort of need it to process but I don't really want to write it down. Writing it down is like accepting it happened. Of course it did – but I don't want to realise that we lose Anna, probably for good. Anna... How can I process that, seriously?

They came in our haven yesterday morning when we were still sleeping. They have those protective suits I saw on so many movies. It protects them from the radiation of the bomb. They're clever, and we're not. How didn't we think about that? We were sleeping without anything near us to protect us from intruders. I regret it now. It's too late for that but if I had had a knife maybe...

No, of course not. A knife would have probably killed me. They had machine guns in their hands. What were we supposed to use against that? They shot in the air and that's what woke us up. Their guns were pointed at me and Anna. At first, they simply asked for Michael. They were four robust guys with machine guns. We didn't struggle back. Michael obviously didn't want to go though so he hugged Anna. One of them tried to separate them but I tried to stopped him. He threatened me with his machine gun.

I was more scared than ever at this point, maybe more than I am right now. Actually I'm not sure about that because fear is a feeling that I feel way too much recently. I was scared. Was I more scared then than when we were chased by those farmers ten days ago or so ? I cannot say.

His machine gun had a lamp torch on it and it lightened my face. The guy in front of me called for "David", another one of the guys. "Isn't it the girl? Can you check? I think we have the girl!". He checked on a tablet. "What girl?" asked Anna. No answer, but then: "It is the girl."

What girl? Who am I in their eyes? I'm a hundred percent positive: I don't know them. I relived the scene over and over in my head. I was so surprised to see a piece of technology – a tablet ! – in their hands that I didn't think much about what was happening. The guy with the machine gun lightning me asked me to follow them with Michael. I tried to say no, of course. He laughed at me and asked me again. I said we will all follow them, the three of us because we were in this together. He laughed again.

And then he hit me right in the cheek with the riffle stock of his machine gun.

When I woke up I was in a jeep and Michael was crying at my right. I instinctively wanted to hug him but I was handcuffed. I don't know how long I stayed unconscious. We were both wearing protective suits and were in a car going I don't know where. I tried to talk to them – there were a driver and another guy in the car. They didn't answer. They didn't say a thing since yesterday, even to themselves. They have walkie-talkie in the front of the car but they're turned off.

Another car was following us, probably with both of the other gunmen. I asked Michael about Anna and he told me the end of the story. Anna... When the guy hit me, Anna cried and jumped at his head. He quickly retaliated and hit her too. Another guy shot again in the air and Anna was petrified.

A third guy went ahead toward Michael and handcuffed him. Michael bite him and they shot Anna in the shoulder. I'm sick every time I think about it. Anna... I hope she's ok. Michael swore - mostly out of guiltiness - they only shot her in the shoulder. You can live with a bullet in the shoulder, right?

They handcuffed Michael and took me and they left, leaving Anna crying and screaming on the ground. They closed the hatch behind them and sealed it with a wooden furniture from the living room. Anna is trapped in our haven, she can't follow us. Oh my god what will happen to her? I can't believe this happened to us.

While we were in the hall of the house, Michael tried to leave by running but there was another guy outside, probably waiting for anyone trying to escape the house. He knocked out Michael. When he woke up, we were on the car and they were already driving. I only woke up in the middle of the night with pain I can't describe on my face then my heart. Anna...

Maybe that's why I can't sleep for now. I want to hurt them but there is a fence between us and of course there are those bloody handcuffs. I can't touch them and they won't answer us. We didn't eat yet I still have hope to hurt them when they'll bring us food. Maybe we'll find a way to escape.

This morning they allowed us to go to the toilets in a forest nearby the road. They followed Michael and waited for him. They left me five minutes to do whatever I had to do. I thought of running but they swore they'd shot Michael if I did anything stupid like fight back or flee. So I didn't and came back. At least it was relief to know I was probably safe from rape – my urge to pee in the forest would have been a perfect excuse for them to rape me.

Still, I'm scared. And all I can think about is Anna. They didn't rape her either which is a good thing. I have to focus on positive things. She's probably bleeding alone by now. They left her to die alone in what we called a haven. Turns out it was just a tomb.

Who are they ? Why are they doing that to us? Why were they only interested by Michael at first? Why am I important to them?

I may be important to them but I just want to kill every one of them right now.

And I will. Somehow. Some day. Those bastards will let their guards down. I may be afraid but I'm not that weak, I'm sure I will find a way to hurt them for what they did to Anna. Anna. She's just another name on my list now, with Georges, Anton, my parents, my bestfriend... Michael is waking up. I bet he hoped this was a nightmare. I will have to be strong again. For him. But all I want to do now is cry.