The App: App-ocalypse (1)

Day 21 - Waiting in the dark

It's been four days. I think. We've been waiting in the dark for what felt like four days. We have our habits now. Our worries are part of them.

It's been four days since we last saw Georges and Anton. I can't believe my last words to Georges were so hateful. I was sure to see him again - and now I'm not. I'm still mad at him, but I miss him. I miss him more than Cassandra or my parents which is stupid since I don't really know him. We spent 10 days together and I already valued him more than my own family. That's how weird living through this App-ocalypse is.

And Anton... Sure we had our (many) problems but I do miss him. Plus the fact that we don't have any sign of them probably mean they're dead. Which is obvious but Adriana doesn't want to hear a word about it.

She already lost her daughter and her husband won't make it... I can understand why she's so hateful toward us - because she is, she even refused to help Michael who's still blind - but it's hard to accept.

John's health is more worrying than it ever was. He's vomiting a lot of blood and didn't eat in the last twenty hours or so. I really think he's about to die any minute now and we're all sensitive about it. We're all crying every ten minutes and he tries to be as brave as possible and stays confident - but we all know what's waiting for him. He won't make it. I feel sick about it.

Anna's nightmares are back. Every "night". It's hard to have a night when we don't have any idea of the time and any light. To eat, we're waiting everyone to wake up - which often coincides with Anna waking up screaming because of a nightmare.

At least the both of us are closer than we ever were. We hug a lot - and we hug Michael too. Without light we're losing it. There's no other word to describe what we're living. Having someone in there - knowing that I'm sharing something with someone - is our only safety that we're not becoming crazy.

It's hard to be in here. No time, no light, no escape and almost no hope. We're waiting to die - we're waiting for John to die first but then... Who?

We don't have anything to do. We played with Michael the first day but in the dark there isn't a lot of games to play. Everything is boring and pointless. We just have to wait and we don't know what we're waiting.

They destroyed the world with their app and then their bomb. Bombs? Who knows?

Who cares?!

This is too depressing to be written and it doesn't calm me anymore. Dad you said writing would help me but I don't think you ever thought I'd had to write locked under the ground and in the dim light of a candle.

Candles. Our only source of hope right now. When we're in the dark all I can see is this cornfield and the explosion and the cloud of dust. This image is forever there right before my eyes and I pitied Michael so much. He won't ever saw anything else in his life. He told us the last thing he saw was a white light over the field - probably the flash I also saw.

It's so painful to think about it. It's so unrealistic to look back on what happened those last three weeks or so.

I wish someone could come and help us.
I wish someone could help and cure John.
I wish my dad could be here and understand me.
I wish Georges and Anton were here. Georges could speak to us in French and he basically never ran out of jokes. And Anton... I didn't get a chance to fully know him but the last night we spent together was really great. He was so nice and comprehensive - and I've sort of been so mean to him when he didn't realised how stupid and horrible he was to me. And know I miss him, I miss my shithead.

At least I have Anna. And I don't have to worry about my gaze anymore, she can't see it. When we have light everything is blurred because we're not used to light anymore. We're just crying and it makes it hard for me to write - plus we have to help Michael doing everything.

Anna knows how important it is for me to write - even though it's not calming me down anymore and even though I'm now hoping dad never read those pages - so she let me do it today and helped Michael by herself. Adriana is always taking care of John and almost doesn't speak to us anymore. I can understand her, but in the same time I'm angry at her. John is still talking to us but she is creating this shield around them and now we can't have a conversation with them.

It's almost funny to think I said the world was screwed because of Sleepers and Robbers. I had no idea how worst everything would become.