The App: App-ocalypse (1)

Day 46 - Keeping secrets is a bad idea

Georges woke me up early this morning. It was time to go to the airport, he said to me. I protested quietly because I wanted to wait for Michael - to try to find him. Anna told me to shut up and asked us to go on the roof with her to talk about it. Anton, Xia and Edmund were already there.

Georges asked what Xia and Edmund were doing here and Anton replied he would not go anywhere without them. Georges was pissed off that they knew about the plan to go to France but according to Anna there was no time to argue. It's when I get really pissed off too, because time wasn't our problem, finding Michael was.

They all looked at each other and I found trace of pity in their eyes. Anna put her left hand in my shoulders and told me there was nothing we could do for him. I knew that. I realized it yesterday. But even if we don't know what to do about Michael it doesn't mean we should give up on him. I told them that and I still think it even though they answered me that wasn't how life was working.

Life works the way we want it to work. I refuse to give up on Michael. I can't believe Anna is considering the possibility to leave the country without him. She was like a second mother to him. OK a third mother, because of Mary probably being the second for a few days. After all we've been through together, I can't understand how she can be that coward. Georges took her defense, of course, and accused me to mixed my anger with what I was feeling for her. Which is probably partly true because I can't see right now how I could have been in love with her. She is not the woman I think she was and I can't believe how selfish she is. I'm mad at myself. Was I blind by love?

Of course she is nothing compared to Georges who doesn't even want to take Edmund and Xia with him on the plane, even though he had live with them during the worst times in all of our lives. When I made that point in front of him and them, he broke into tears and told me he didn't want to get attached to anyone else now that he had lose Mary and his brother. I had never seen him like that and it was me who was feeling sorry for him now. He doesn't stand the fact he is linked so much with us because he is fearing to lose us.

He told me we had lost Michael just as much as he lost Mary and Lucy, and there was nothing we could do about it. "There is nothing we can do". They all say that, again and again, each day, all day long. I feel so powerless. I can't stand it anymore.

The argument was far from over though because then it's Anton who got angry. Basically he was feeling resentment toward Georges because he was assuming leaving behind Xia and Edmund wasn't a big deal just because he didn't feel attached to them. Here comes the plot twist of day (well, one of them): Anton feels attached to them. And especially to Xia.

I can't believe it. They're together. They love each other. What. The. Fuck?

Judging by the way Anna's jaw dropped, no one saw it coming. Well Edmund actually laughed at our reaction, so he did. I don't get it. I was so sure Xia and Edmund were a couple that I didn't see any signs of attraction between Xia & Anton. Of course, now a lot of things are taking a whole new meaning. They were sleeping together in a car when Sebastian and Nathan found them. Sleeping. That's how they explained it but I think I know what they were doing. We would have been here in New-York way sooner if it wasn't for their stupid ongoing relationship.

Gosh, Anton really can't help himself. I remember how he used to flirt with me each time he could. So Xia was the kind of girl who falls for that? I would never have guessed. Edmund seems OK with that. I spoke to him about it and he told me he knew from the beginning those two were meant to fall in love and he wasn't surprised when Xia told him, back when they were taking the radio in their shelter and when we were saving Anna's life in the hospital.