Episode 20: To the Left
Bey pov
April 18th
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It's Thursday morning and I was over the week. Onika and I were bundled up in bed, snoozing like the two exhausted queens we are until the alarm went off.
Onika groans rolling over to nudges Bey
O: Babe... it's your turn to take the kids to school
I sat up with my face scrunched up.
B: They have school AGAIN!?
O: baby they have school every day of the week
I screamed into my pillow before throwing the covers off and stomping to the bathroom. Meanwhile, the house starts moving like a chaotic zoo. The kids were brushing teeth, screaming, fighting over cereal, one sock on, one shoe missing...
I threw on a hoodie and sweats with no bra, put my hair in a messy bun, then slid on my shades and Ugg slides. I shuffles through the hallway and pushed Sir out the way
B: Move broke person!
Sir, still fresh off his cast life, dramatically fell on the floor.
S: MOM!!
O: babe!
I smacked my teeth, keeping it moving to make my iced coffee then Khalil came up to me.
Kh: are you coming to my game later?
B: Khalil, what I tell you about asking me questions before 10AM?
He blows his breath looking at the camera.
The kids finally get semi-ready. I kissed Onika who was still wrapped in her robe.
B: you know it's not too late for you to take them
Onika pushed me to the side to say bye to the kids.
O: Love you babies, have a good day
Kids: love you mom
We went outside and of course, chaos.
B: The car's to the left
I said trying to lock the door.
The kids turned right.
B: to the left!
The kids scatter each going different ways.
B: TOOO THEEE LEFT!
mailman: hey I love that song! To the left to the left everything you o-
B: don't you have a job to do?
M: right..well here's your m-
I snatched it from him.
Kalani stops, does the "L" test with her hands
Ka: OH! Left!
I shot the camera a look.
B: I should've got tequila instead of coffee
After drop off, I came back home to do what I love: mooch off my fine a** wife.
Onika's got dressed into something casual. Then she tosses me two outfit choices.
O: Hoodie and jeans, or shirt and sweats?
B: I don't know can you pick
Onika sighs.
O: Here. Wear these jeans
B: Can you put them on me?
She glared at me.
B: Pleaseeee wife?
Onika sighs but does it anyway because she secretly loves Bey being a big baby.
Onika headed to the kitchen and of course I was right behind her with her hand in mines.
O: Did the kids eat?
She stood over the stove and I stood behind her with my arms wrapped around her waist.
B: I don't know, hopefully?
Onika rolls her eyes.
O: how do you want your pancakes today? Cinnamon or-
B: chocolate with strawberries
O: you're such a child
She chuckled.
B: you know what else would taste good with chocolate
I whispered in her ear making her giggle.
O: you better stop before cut it out before we have another one
B: whew you're right!
I quickly got off her, lord knows I can't take another one. Hell I can barely take the ten I already have!
O: I- really bey!
We headed out to run errands. Beauty supply store, grocery store, maybe the candle aisle even though we don't need candles. I was just vibing with not a single thought in my head. I usually just turn off my brain when I'm with Onika, I know with her I'm safe.
I kicked my feet up sitting in the passenger seat.
O: get your feet off my car ma'am
I kicked off my shoes putting my feet back up.
O: that's...better
I groaned. We were on our tenth stop and my stomach was damn near touching my back.
B: Is that Surfside!?
O: Surf n Suds..laundromat?
B: Oh..
O: im gonna feed you baby calm down.
She placed her hand on my thigh.
B: when??
O: After we pick the kids up
B: WHAT? No! theyre gonna ask for food too!
O: Yes?? They're our children, we have to feed them??
B: I don't know Onika... I think we have too many outsiders in this relationship
O: Our kids??
B: Whatever you wanna call em. Look we just need to focus on me and you cause these outsiders? theyre tryna tear us apart!
Onika just shook her head.
We pick up the kids, headed home, and everyone got tacos. Once the kids went to bed I got to have my wife all to myself again!
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Keeping up with The Carters
HumorBlack Sitcom of the life of famous celebrity Beyonce trying to coparent with her ex husband Jay Z and her current wife Onika.
