Keeping up with The Carters
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    Keeping up with The Carters

    Humor

    Black Sitcom of the life of famous celebrity Beyonce trying to coparent with her ex husband Jay Z and her current wife Onika.

    #barbz #beehive #beyhive #beynika #beyonce #beyonceknowles #jayonce #jayz #julez #kellyrowland #michellewilliams #nickiminaj #onikamaraj #solange

    He has risen! S2E21

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    Episode 21: He has risen!
    Onika pov
    April 20th   
    ——————————————————
    It was Easter Sunday and I was already at my limit. 
    I've been running around the house trying to get six kids, that including Beyoncé, ready for church. Everyone was in their Sunday best and complaining!
    Bl: owwww! You're brushing it too hard!
    O: then stay still!
    S: This tie is too tight! 
    O: no it's not, it's fine you look handsome 
    S: I look like I'm going to a FUNERAL!
    O: well Jesus did technically die?
    Gigi: mommy can I wear my tiara?
    O: No baby not today 
    She started whining and falling out. Ugh, I thought we were past this stage??
    G: WHYYYY!!
    O: because this isn't a tiara type of event
    G: but Jesus likes it!
    Onika blows her breath looking at the camera.  
    O: older people how's it looking?
    I yelled from downstairs. Kalani came to the top of the stairs pulling on her dress like it's on fire.
    Ka: I don't wanna wear this!
    O: why?? You look pretty
    Ka: We're thugs! Thugs don't wear dresses!
    O: lemme see
    I went upstairs to pull her dress down a little bit. 
    B: Right! I don't want my strap showing
    I gasped before popping her. 
    O: shut up!
    We finally made it out the house 15 minutes late of course  and pulled up to church looking like a royal, slightly ratchet family. When we got there the rest of the family was around there. Mama Tina in her pink suit, Kelly with her boys, Jay nodding off, Jayden in the middle of Ava and Ariana, solange in her shades, and Zaina wearing a white baggy blouse which is surprising she's always the first to throw on a dress but I guess not today. I didn't think much of it.
    ~ Bey pov ~
    The service was LONG AS HELL- oh wait, long as heaven? Sorry Jesus. But it was really long. Like unnecessarily long. And to make it worse it was hot! I had about three fans in my hand plus Titan and Khalil fanning me. I forced them to. 
    B: baby how long is this gonna be?
    O: until 11 I think 
    B: Onika it's one thirty!
    O: oh-
    B: mama when is it time to go?
    I leaned across solange to tap mama.
    S: don't lean on me!
    B: shut up! Why you wearing glasses in church you don't want nobody from your EVENTFUL past seeing you!?
    S: move Giselle!
    She hit and I hit her back. Mama quickly stopped us.
    Mama: both of yall stop it! Don't make me embarrass you in front of this church!
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