Episode 5: Driving Me Crazy
Bey pov
July 9th
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Today I'm teaching Khalil, kalani, and ugly to drive and I'm not excited at all. First of all kalani took five tries to get her permit, Khalil guessed on his eye test, and titan cheated!! NONE OF THEM SHOULD BE DRIVING!
But yet and still my ass is stuck teaching them to drive so let's do it I guess... if I don't make it tell Blue I love her. Not the rest. Just Blue!
Kalani, Khalil, and Titan stood confidently, each holding a learner's permit and way too much pride for someone who barely knew what a brake pedal was.
First up was Kalani.
B: you ready baby girl?
Ka: yes! I can drive with my EYES CLOSED
B: well maybe let's not do that??
Ka: oh okay yea
I slid into the passenger seat and buckled up tightly whispering a prayer to God. Kalani got in, adjusted the mirror, pulled off and never braked again.
B: KALANI
Ka: WOAHH
The stop sign? A suggestion.
The speed limit? Offensive.
B: SLOW DOWN
Ka: I DONT KNOW HOW
B: OH MY- JESUS GRAB THE WHEEL!!
Ka: oh wait I think I got it
The car jolted. I damn near fell on the floor. I took deep breaths trying to collect my thoughts.
Ka: so how'd I do?
B: GET out my car
Ka: so that's a no or?
B: GET OUT
Ka: FINE!
She got out the car and it kept rolling.
B: KALANI ITS NOT IN PARK!!!
Ka: oh my gosh!
I quickly put it in park before it ran into the tree.
B: kalani you got a F
Ka: aw man
B: NEXT
Next up Khalil.
He got in like he was about to film a Fast & Furious scene.
B: Okay, now turn left here LEFT LEFT KHALIL!!
Kh: I- HOLD ON
Khalil let go of the wheel to do the L-test with his hands.
B: KHALIL??!!???
BOOM. He hit a pole.
Kh: I didn't think it was that close
B: GET OUT MY DAMN CAR!
Kh: well what did I get?
B: AN F!
He groaned.
B: NEXTTTTTTT
Then came Titan.
Titan sat back like a rapper in a music video, his seat reclined all the way down.
Ti: are you ready?
B: Titan please don't threaten me before I get in the car it's rude
Ti: whatever I'm ready to get my license TONIGHT ima go pick up the ladies in this whip
B: You can't even see the road, lil Wayne. SIT UP!
Ti: Mmch!
He was actually driving well for a minute until it was time to make a U turn. He cranked the wheel dramatically and CRASH.
The car bumped into a tree.
Ti: whoops
I took a deep breath shaking my head.
Ti: so is that like a...B-?
B: Titan get out my house
Ti: what??
B: GO HOME
I dragged him out the car by his hoodie and snatched my damn keys away.
B: All of you are banned from cars and from my presence until further notice!
I walked away.
Later that day, I sat in my home office with a coffee and a heating pad on my back, trying to relax from the bullshit that happened today. Then CRASH!
A golf cart smacked right into the window. And outside the glass, Sir and Gigi slowly waved.
B: ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME??
G&S: SORRY MAMA
B: SORRY? YOU BETTER GET YOUR LITTLE BUTTS HERE!!
The twins ran away.
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Keeping up with The Carters
HumorBlack Sitcom of the life of famous celebrity Beyonce trying to coparent with her ex husband Jay Z and her current wife Onika.
