You Again, Professor [GL• #2]

PART 2: CHAPTER 1 [Isabelle Lavina's POV]

5 years earlier...

Isla's POV

They say people come and go, but I say neither of those things mattered. I wasn't given a choice. I am not free to decide. Minsan malayo ang nais ng puso ko sa gustong gawin ng isip ko, I'm confused, sad, hurt, and I always wonder why it all happened? I was always left alone in the end. Regardless of what kind of choices I made.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever made the right choice in my life. It feels like I never did. No more chances, no more time for a little change.

Mapapayapa pa ba ang puso ko? Kung ang iisipan ko ay palaging naghahangad ng kapayapaan sa piling ng taong hindi ko naman ginustong pakawalan, ngunit tuluyan nang nawala sa akin?

They say if it's meant for you, it will always come back, destiny will always find its way to make it happen. But how will it ever happen, when from the very start there was nothing to even begin with?

Maybe there was-but beyond that, there wasn't. Dahil kasalanan ko kung bakit wala, kung bakit siya nawala sa akin.

Kung may pinaka masamang tao, siguro ako iyon? i am selfish. I only think about what I want, what I thought was important, what I believed was for the best, and what I thought could make things less wrong for everyone else. But, in the end, it is still my fault that they were hurt and destroyed.

I know within me, I already sacrificed enough, but how could I make them understand that if I claimed it was for my own good?

Malamig na hangin ang yumakap sa akin. Marahan kong hinaplos ang malamig na marble kung saan nakasulat ang pangalan ng taong una kong inibig. "What do you think?" tanong ko rito na tila ba sa ano mang sandali ay may sasagot sa akin.

Muli akong tumanaw sa malayo at muling mag-isip nang malalim. It's been five long years since the last time I saw Khaiy. There's a pinched nerve aching in my chest every time the image of her flashes through my mind.

I was stupid for hurting her.

Alam kong kasalanan ko ang lahat. She loved me, and what I did was hurt her over and over again. I didn't want it to happen, but in the end, I still did let my own selfishness eat me.

Hindi ko gustong sa kaniya isisi ang lahat, but it seems that's how it goes, and it's already too late when I realize my horrible, and stupidest mistake.

"I let her go, North..." mapait kong saad. Puno ng lungkot ang bawat letra sa ilang salitang aking binigkas.

"I waited long enough to get over you, but through time, I think it was fate-why the universe took you away from me," muli kong saad habang nakatingin sa lapida ni North.

"But I don't understand why I couldn't do the same for Khaiy?" at hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili sa panginginig ng aking boses humina rin ang tono ko. My hands are shaking, napakagat ako sa ibabang labi.

Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses akong nagpupunta sa sementeryo tuwing nalulungkot ako dahil sa nangyari sa amin ni Khaiy. Naging safe haven ko ang lugar kung saan naka himlay si North.

Walang araw na hindi ko iniisip si Khaiy, I was deeply hurt by making unjustified decisions that weren't fair to either of us.

I invalidated our feelings for the benefit of no one. It was like trading my treasures for stones, and now I couldn't even afford to take it back. It's my fault. I shouldn't be feeling sad.

Thousands of crashing waves hit me every time I recall the moments Khaiy and I shared. I miss her annoying remarks, her lousy actions, her soft voice, her silly jokes, and the way she sees life-every part of her.