*Anya's POV*
After that 'chasing incident' sa amin ni Lee, nagkulong ako sa suite.
I don't feel like eating.
Hindi ko mapigilang umiyak.
I was crying all alone at the balcony, then suddenly Leigh walked towards me and handed me the box of tissue.
"Mommy, Uncle Julian wants to say sorry." nakatingin lang si Leigh sa akin habang umiiyak ako.
Looking at him reminds me of Lee always.
Magkamukha silang dalawa.
"Stop crying, Mommy. Is Daddy bad?" kumuha sya ng tissue at pinunasan yung luha ko.
Kaya imbes na tumigil ako, lalo tuloy akong napaiyak.
Niyakap ko si Leigh, "Your daddy isn't bad. Mommy is just unfair."
I admit it.
"You still love him, don't you?" Julian stood behind me and rubbed my back, "I saw your eyes when he said he never stopped loving you. Naniniwala na ako sa first love never dies."
"I don't know, Julian. Ang gulo. Hindi ko na alam kung anong tunay sa hindi." sabi ko nalang nung kinalong ko si Leigh, "Magulong-magulo yung isip ko."
"Anong plano mo? Leigh already knew his father." Julian asked.
"Minsan natatakot na din ako sayo, Juls. You're one of the masterminds. Pwede bang hayaan mo din akong magdecide para kay Leigh? Nape-pressure ako sa iyo." medyo asar na sabi ko sa kanya na tinawanan lang niya.
"Don't make it so hard for you. Open your heart and mind. Learn to forgive. Give him another chance because I think he deserves it." pagkasabi nya non, bumalik na sya sa loob.
Madaling sabihin, mahirap gawin...
But, okay.
I will try.
---
That night rained.
Gusto ko sanang lumabas pero hindi nalang.
Sinabi sa akin ni Julian na natuloy yung pagtugtog ng banda nila Lee pero si Louie yung kumanta, wala daw si Lee.
I shrugged like I don't care...
But I somehow worried.
Pero kilala ko si Lee, hindi sya gagawa ng mga bagay na ikapapahamak nya.
Kaya nya yung sarili nya, malaki na sya.
Tinabihan ko na si Leigh para makatulog na sya, pero parang wala syang balak matulog hanggang hindi nya nakikita si Lee.
"Mommy let's go to Daddy."
"Mommy where's Daddy?"
"Isn't he going to sleep with us?"
"I want to sleep between you and him."
Paulit-ulit syang nagsasalita tungkol sa daddy nya.
Hindi ko naman sya masisi, naeexcite yung bata.
"Okay, baby. Let's go to sleep now, I'll let you play with him tomorrow." sabi ko nalang para wag na syang mangulit.
I'm not giving him false hopes, bukas na bukas, papayag akong makapag-bonding silang dalawa.
Ayoko nalang maging unfair sa anak ko, may isip na sya.
Matalinong bata si Leigh, I'm pretty sure he understands everything around him at his young age.
Nakinig naman sya at humalik sakin bago sya pumikit.
"I love you, lovey." my sweetest endearment to him.
