Forget Me Not

Where we stand

Your POV

I helped clean up as people slowly began to leave. It's been awkward around Ben and Toby and don't even get me started on Jeff. We can't even make eye contact no longer than 5 seconds before madly blushing and turning away from each other. I'm glad Ben and Toby were quiet about it, keeping our secret an actual secret. "Does this mean Jeff does like me?" I thought to myself has I cleared off empty used paper plates and plastic cups. "He wouldn't kiss me if he didn't..." I trailed off. I causally looked over my shoulder and spotted Jeff fluffing up the pillows and replacing them neatly on the couch. He slowly looked over his shoulder at me. I panicked and nervously half smiled before blushing and turning away. I heard Jeff lightly chuckle to himself. "Okay so if he likes me, does this mean he's gonna ask me out?" I asked myself. My heart raced at the thought of that. "What if us making out automatically makes us together?" I added. I felt butterflies release into my stomach. "...or what if he was just messing around as usual...what if he sees me as just a friend with benefits." I frown to myself and sigh. I tie the over flowing trash bag and pull it out of the trash  can. I walk towards the living room exit forcing myself not to look back at Jeff.

Once I took out the trash I lazily walked to the stairwell, hoping to have myself a nice hot shower. I haven't showered since I got here. I descended the stairs trying to keep my mind from over working and over thinking things. Suddenly I bumped into someone. "Oh..sorry, I wasn't paying a-..." I stopped when I looked up to see Jeff looked down at me. "It's okay." He lightly chuckled and flashed a smile. My face grew red with a blush and my stomach had butterflies. I swallowed nervously. "Well...I'm gonna go this way..." I awkwardly stepped around him keeping my head down. I looked over my shoulder and notice he stood perfectly still as if I were still there. I couldn't help but wonder what the hell he was thinking. I quickened my pace into a small jog and finally reach the safe zone. The bathroom. I closed the door and locked it, allowing myself to lean my back against the door, keeping myself barricaded. I felt my hand come up to my lips as I traced my index finger softly against my bottom lip. "I can't believe he kissed me..." I mumbled quietly to myself. "He kissed me." I thought again and against my finger tip I felt myself smile.

I stripped of my clothes and stepped into the shower letting the water drench me. I closed my eyes as the soothing water hit my skin. I felt happy and excited but at the same time confused and on edge. "I have to tell him." I thought to myself. "He must be wondering the same things I am, I just have to confess I like him." I thought and my her traced. I finished up in the shower and shut off the water. I reached for my towel and wiped my face and dried off my body. I put my clothes on considering thy were clean from when Jeff washed them for me. I turned to wipe the fog off the mirror. I leaned against the corner and started at myself in the mirror. I noticed little freckles on my face, not really noticeable unless you stared at me for a long time, I hardly had any either so that made it even less noticeable. My skin was pale and looked smooth. I turned to the side and examined that side. There was a small scar above my eye, right below my eyebrow, from the time I fell out of my tree in my back yard. I turned to the other side and examined that intensely. There really wasn't anything that stuck out. I sighed and leaned back up. "I have to tell him..." I mumble to myself. I clutched my hands in a fist very determined. I opened the door and marched boldly down the hall until I reached the door at the end of the hallway. I pushed it open to see Jeff playing around with smile. The big husky with jump up and lean it's paws on Jeff's chest as Jeff would scratch behind his ears. Then Jeff would playfully wrestle with the dog. I cleared my throat making my presences known. Jeff turned his head to look at me as smile rolled around on top of him. I looked back at forth between Jeff an the floor. I felt myself blush. "Listen...Y/n, I have to tell you something..." Jeff pushed smile off and came to a standing position. "I have to tell you something too." I half smiled hopefully. "You can go first." I said walking over to sit on the bed. I patted the spot next to me and Jeff shook his head. "I think I'll stand...thanks." He said nervously. I raised a confused eyebrow at him and shrugged, letting him be. My eyes looked down at the floor out of embarrassment and blushing. "Listen...I didn't mean...I hope you....about the kiss Y/n, it w-was just an experiment ya know? Look...it wasn't anything serious so stop overthinking it, you don't have to act all shy around me, we're friends Y/n." Jeff spoke hesitantly. My heart shattered and the butterflies I had 10 seconds ago turned into a nauseous feeling. I tried to hold back tears as I stayed looking at the ground. "Oh...right, yeah...duh, I knew that. Of course I didn't put much thought in it, it was just a kiss, not like we'd start dating or anything." I forced a chuckle. I was afraid it sounded to fake though. "I'm really sor-" I cut Jeff off. "No...you're cool...it's all good, really you don't have to apologize." I insisted coming to stand up. "You had something to tell me?..." Jeff asked looking down at the ground too. He seemed sad. "No...it's nothing, forget I said anything, it's not important." I said determined. The number one thought in my head was, "Must. Leave. Room. Now." I headed for the door but Jeff pulled me back gently by my wrist. I turned around to face him keeping my eyes down, refusing to look at him. "No hard feelings right, we're still friends...right?" He asked concerned. It was quiet for a minute before I slowly nodded my head. "Yeah, we're friends." I mumbled and turned away from him pulling my wrist out of his touch. I opened the door. "Where are you going?" He asked in a worried tone. "I just...I just have to go, I'm sorry." My voice cracked ad I slowly closed the door behind me. The door separated Jeff and I and it seemed like our feelings were other thing standing in the way....

I slowly let go the door knob. I slummed and lazily walked like a ghost all the way down the hallway...I felt crushed.