Forget Me Not

The Frustraion is Killing Me

Your POV

I lean against the railing of the porch. The breeze blew slightly making my hair tickle my face. My brown eyes dilated as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds. Apart from the weird way Jeff was acting it's been a rather nice day.

Speaking of Jeff I can't believe we used to date...but in a why I can see it. It's no wonder why he's so protective and flirty around me. That really explains a lot. I couldn't help but wonder why he took off so quickly after my memory...I thought maybe he'd be happy I'm remembering something considering he gets just as frustrated as I do when I can't recall something that seems so simple. He looked worried or...anxious about something so I figured id ask him later about it, but something in the back of my mind tells me not to pry. I feel like I know Jeff....like I said the best way I can explain it, is seeing someone twice or more in one day but never really getting the opportunity of meeting them, but in my case I feel like I've meet him...and I know him but at the same time I feel like I don't and it's so god damn frustrating. I feel comfortable around him and at times I find myself wanting to look for him when he's not around and when he's there, I feel almost...protected and content. Yet I don't remember anything about him...his favorite color or food...or the reason why when he's around his brother he tears his eyes away from him, or why he always feels the need to be the best at video games against ben and when he loses he looks at me almost in an apologetic way or even why lately that's the only look he's been giving me.

Whenever I look at Jeff he seems to be apologizing for something terrible and it bothers me that I don't know what it is and it bothers me that I can't just wrap him up in a blanket and hold him until the pain behind his eyes fade and the nightmares under his skin are gone. I don't remember anything about Jeff except how he makes me feel when I'm around him. I have the urge to be silly and playful around him and almost happy with myself...like nothing could harm me as long as he was there. Sometimes I find myself marveling at him because he's such a beautiful broken creature. He looks dangerous yet so inviting and I can't help myself.

The smell of him is like a distant memory. So far away almost as if his scent was somewhere around my childhood. It was on my pillow as I slept, or on the bear I played with...even on the brand new clothes I bought I felt like it was always there and I loved it. Even though it felt like the scent was constantly changing I always knew it was him. Whether the smell was the forest after rain, black coffee in the morning, mint shampoo or lavender soap, hot tea, fresh laundry or even metallic blood that he always tried to cover up with a little bit of my favorite cologne of his. It was him and he was like my home. I just wanted to lay in bed with him with the shades closed so only I could enjoy him, I want to feel his hair in my hand and his skin against mine and at some point I feel like I have but I'm just not sure...And again you can understand how frustrating this is...

I drew in a slow deep breath and I felt my lungs extend with air. Everything felt different to me and I'm guessing it was because I'm immortal now...a feeling I'm hoping I'll get used to. I turn and walk towards the front door, pushing it open I saw EJ with Sally. "They're done...you wanna help frost them?" He said making me think he was smiling under his mask. Dally have a hopefully expression. I shrugged. "No thanks, I think I'm done baking for today." I said giving an innocent smile. They nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. I looked at the walls of the mansion and slowly took in how they made me feel. It felt like home too.

I dragged my feet into the living room and saw Ben playing video games. I realized this was his hobby, which he was extremely good at. He paused the game as I plopped on the couch. His back was still facing to me as he say crisscross the floor. "Sorry about pretending to be your boyfriend..." He mumbled and I imagined him being embarrassed that's why he didn't face me. "That's okay...I'm sorry for embarrassing you in front of your friends...I don't have a problem with blondes it's just...it didn't feel right and I hope you don't take it the wrong way." I explained. "No it's okay...it didn't feel right because you're Jeff's girl and subconsciously you know that." Ben stated and grabbed the controller again and un-paused the game. I felt myself blush and I thought about being called "Jeff's girl". I notice Jeff pass by the doorway and then back up as he looked in at me. "What are you doing in here?" He half smiled. "I got bored waiting for you." I admitted and he seemed to smile more. "You were waiting for me?" He asked. I gave in to my half smile. "Yeah..." I mumbled and looked toward the tv. He sat down on the couch at the opposite end of me. We awkwardly took glances at each other. I would really like to get to know Jeff better.