Forget Me Not

I Wonder

Jeff and I walked through the forest. We definitely weren't in any hurry to get to town considering Jeff was walking slower than molasses dripped from a bottle. Part of me was starting to grow annoyed with him sometimes but then I would calm down and continue walking side by side with him regardless how many times he stopped to look at something with nature: A trail of ants crawling up a tree, a butterfly dancing around on a flower, a spider making its web. He was quiet a lot of the times too, mostly just saying things like "look at that." Before wandering off. Right now he was leaned up against a tree with his hands in his pant pockets looking up at the crows in the opposite tree. I chuckled a little bit now and approached him decided to ask him what has gotten into him lately. "Jeff?" I asked with a tone that let him now I wasn't going to start a too serious conversation. "Hmm?" He hummed in response like "what" but continued to look up. "The forest is interesting huh?" I half teased and I could see that his face was turned a bit red with a blush but he avoided looking down at me and played it off cool. "Yeah...I've been noticing a lot of things lately." He shrugged it off. "Why is that?" I asked. "I mean don't get me wrong, that's great but...you know...why all of a sudden?" I asked as lightly as possible. If I knew anything about Jeff it was that nothing pissed him off more than someone questioning him or what he was doing and why. He laughed a bit...a genuine laugh and I took that as a good sign. "I can't tell you..." He said and his laugh dialed down until he was back to a melancholy  state. I starred at him annoyed again and grunted leaning my back against a tree. "What?" He questioned like I was the crazy one. "You! You! YouYouYou!" I said pointing at him. "Me?" He questioned and raised his eyebrow looking defensive. "I don't get you, I don't understand...Jeff why can't you just let me into your little world, let me know something instead of leaving me to guess and when I guess wrong you get upset...why can't you just save us the trouble of fighting, you stomping off, us not talking for a few days and just tell me what's a matter with you lately!?" I said going on a rant and throwing my arms up in the air as I walked back and forth in front of him. He looked at me almost stunned but then looked down. "I'd rather not tell you..." He admitted and I wanted to strangle him. "Why?" I said through gritted teeth. "Because I told you I'd wait." He explained discreetly. I frowned and glared at him. "Well then tell me now." I half demanded. "Nah." He shrugged his shoulders now not even fazed that I could ring his neck with my bare hands. I huffed out of frustration. "I'm gonna smack you." I threatened hoping then he'd tell me. "Okay." He shrugged again. "Go ahead." He added. "Ugh!" I groaned up at the sky now, making Jeff chuckle amused. "You're so dramatic, love." He shook his head with a smile and leaned off the tree. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye rolling over in my mind how he called me 'love'. I thought about how much I really missed him...I mean, of course I say him everyday and sometimes - more so lately - I spend a lot of time with him but I guess it's not like I miss his physical appearance or body in the small place I was. I see Jeff everyday....I miss him in more of a way I know I've only got to have him. Me. Only me. I missed his arms around me as he nuzzled his face in my neck as I washed dishes. I missed how he'd pull me up from the bed and sway with me because that's the only dance move he knew. Swaying. Just holding me close and moving in little circles. I missed his lips on mine for almost everything. Jeff would kiss me any moment he could, despite the playful 'ew' we receive from the others. I miss Jeff and I in a physically romantic level. Granted Jeff and I weren't each other's first but when I look at him and he's looking down at me and for that split second I see the intimacy, lust, love, and all the above in his eyes as he looks into mine, I can tell that I really want him to be my last.

Jeff is once again looking back up at the tops of the trees and I roll my eyes that are now slowly watering. I pinch my nose by the corner of my eyes to stop them from watering and I quickly swallow the lump in my throat as Jeff quietly puts his hand on my shoulder consoling. "Don't cry, darling." He causally spoke and turned me around to hug me. "I'm not crying." I pouted stubbornly. He hugged me tighter. "Yeah...I know." He playfully agreed making me smile a bit into his shoulder. "Everything is alright, there's no need to cry, I have a plan." He said stroking my hair now. He's definitely gotten a lot better at comforting me since the first time. "I miss you..." I whispered much more quietly than I expected and I was almost certain he didn't even hear me as my voice cracked. He gently pushed my head back into his shoulder and kissed the top of my head. "I know...I know, but I'm here now." He whispered back through my hair as he rested his chin on my head. "Jeff?" I asked and pulled a bit away from him so I could look at him but we still kept our arms entangled around each other like tight ropes. He looked down awaiting for me to continue but as I went to open my mouth to speak I couldn't even from the proper sentences to say what I desperately wanted to scream. "A-A...I...never mind." I frowned and leaned my head back on him and Jeff just left it alone as he continued to hug me.