Retreat (A.I.)

32. Tally

---Kelly----

"I'm giving you a pass on last night, Kelly. Only because yesterday was probably one of the worst days of your life. But PLEASE don't make me have to hear that ever again!"

Ashton starts laughing uncontrollably and I literally spit out my cereal. "Sorry Mali." There's nothing else I can say without making it worse. I know I'm as red as a tomato. Wait, is there anything darker red than a tomato? An over ripe strawberry! Yup. That's me alright!

After Mali leaves to take a shower, I continue eating, still trying to make sense of the words in my head. There's just something about them that keeps nagging at me and I feel like I should've been able to put it together by now.

"Hey Ash?" I ask. Mali is walking into the kitchen and freezes when I continue, "Do the words Sony, dream, and London mean anything to you?" Ashton and Mali look at each other and Mali turns, going back to her room. The look on Ashton's face is beginning to worry me.

"Why do you ask?" he stutters out. He definitely knows something, and he's stalling.

"Ash, I've told you already, those words were floating around in my head. You and Mikey both said you'd explain after the funeral. Please tell me what's going on?" He takes me by the hand and leads me to the living room couch. We both sit down, turning towards each other.

"The other day, while you were... checked out, the guys and I got called into a meeting. With Sony Music Publishing. They signed us to a recording deal!"

"Oh my god Ash! It's a dream come true!" Dream. Michael's excitement. It's all making sense now!

"There's a catch, though, Kelly," he continues. The mood changes with these words. He's nervous and that uneasy feeling returns to me. "We have to go to London to do it." Oh. Luke's words last night instantly run through my head. "What if it gets worse when we go"

"When do you leave, and for how long?" I choke out. He looks away before answering, "We leave in two weeks. For three months."

THREE MONTHS? Oh my god! No! This can't be happening to me! No no no no no!

"I don't want to go, Kel. If that means we never record an album, so be it. But I'm not leaving you like this."

More words reappear. You would never forgive yourself if we let this opportunity pass us by. Mikey's right. I would never forgive myself. I cannot let him miss this chance. I have to put my selfishness aside. I love Ashton more than anything and I always swore I'd never let myself come between him and the band.

"Ashton, listen to me," I start. I won't allow myself to cry. I have to be strong. "This is your career, your dream. This was why you went to Colorado in the first place. Do not let me stand in your way, please. You HAVE to go. It won't be easy, but the way I see it, there's no other option."

"With everything that's going on Kelly,"

"I'll be fine Ash," I interrupt. "You don't need to worry about me, honest. Mali's here, I have Mom and Dad and Mark... I'll be okay Ash."

We both just sit there for a few minutes in silence before he asks, "Are you sure? I don't have to go."

"100% sure. I would never forgive myself if you don't do this." He nods his head in resolve, saying, "Holy shit I'm going to London!" Yes, my boyfriend is going to London and I am terrified.

**********************

My alarm goes off way too early. But I decided I need to get back to work. I need to get my life going again before he leaves to try to make it a little easier. I agreed to continue letting Ashton take me, just until we know what's going on with the investigation.