Camila looked at her dad still a little bit shock to see him in his current state, for a moment she want to run outside and get her mom but decided not to thinking about both their feelings. Maybe she found out about her dad but not whether her mom already forgave her dad or if she even talk to him whenever she goes in his place.
"Dad you said it's all because of me? Why? I don't understand" it turns out Camila doesn't understand lots of things lately and this time she'll figure it out.
"Back to the time where I was so caught with work that was when your mom is slowly losing hope, we weren't okay so I used alcohol as an escape and it all went worst until Sinu really gave up and wanted a divorce. Of course I don't want that because I love your mom, you, and Sofi who's still so young then. I tried my best to get back with her but nothing worked. So I lost myself, I became someone I don't want to be, someone I am ashamed of" her dad started telling her things and she listened carefully. He paused and begin again.
"When you first came here I am aware about it. I was so happy although I know you're oblivious about that 'cause I wasn't okay. Whenever you're here I'm so happy, I thought you resent me. I thought you see me as some monster who left you and never cared about you guys. And I was relieved because it turns out I was wrong, because of you I had hope that maybe I can be myself again someday. And that someday happened the day you came here crying, I guess it trigerred something which is good and look here I am. I was worried about you, you've been gone for quite some time. And our last meeting didn't end up so good" he explained with a happy expression but frowned while wondering during his last sentence.
"Oh.. about that. I was in the hospital, I just got discharger actually" she said, uncertain to tell his dad about what happened. He motioned for her to spill it, Camila and dad have this some sort of connection where they can understand each other without the use of words.
"I.. I tried to kill myself" she whispered ashamed looking down on her lap avoiding eye contact. And her dad lifted her head locking his gaze with her. His eyes shows nothing but understanding, there's no hint of judgement. Like what she received from others, who look at her like she's crazy. Maybe that time she was.
"Don't be ashamed. It isn't stupid, you're a person not a robot. Of course you have feelings. Those who hasn't experienced any of it can't judged you my darling. I know how you felt mija, I know you feel helpless. I know you wanna be strong even just for yourself but there's still a point where you'll completely lose it all. But what matters is you know how to get up. And you tried and still do" he spoke softly his thumb grazing her cheek lovingly.
"I want to get better daddy. And I think this is the first step. I thought I was mad at you for not being strong enough, that I can't have a dad to be strong for me, mom and Sofi, but what I don't know before is I am not mad at you but to myself. Because I am weak too" she said wiping her tears.
"Shh it'll be okay. Look at you now, you're stronger than you think you are" he smiled wiping away his daughter's tears.
"And just like you I will be too. I'll make things right this time mija. And whatever outcome I'll get I know it'll be okay. I will be okay" he said determined.
"Dad did you ever get mad at mom? For easily giving up on you?" She asked.
"Oh no. I wasn't, never. She didn't gave up easily mija. I know that, because when a person loves someone so much they don't easily give up. And I know your mom loved me so much to give up so easily. I just screwed up again and again. Until she did what she think would be the both of us. Because there are times where love isn't enough mija"
They talked for a long time, Camila told her dad everything and he did as well. Until they fell into a much lighter conversation, telling each other stories. Camila the past years her dad hasn't been home, Alejandro filling Camila about her own childhood, his and Sinuhe's love story which Camila loved so much. She felt another weight got lifted from her shoulders.
Then she remembered her mom who's waiting for her outside who she promised to talk to. She said her good bye to her dad promising him she will come back soon and making him promise they'll go out some other time.
*****
She and her mom arrived home after some time. She told her not to get Sofi first and that they should talk.
She felt a sudden euphoria when she stepped foot inside their house, never in this past week Camila thought she'd feel happy to be home.
She waited for her mom in the kitchen while she went to settle her things in her room. She informed her that she did some change inside that but she could do whatever she feel she want to do or change.
"Okay sweetie let's talk" her mom said sitting on a chair in front of her.
"I'm sorry mami. Whether you admit it or not I know you're disappointed with the way I've been acting the past months. I know you are aware of everything but decided to stay silent I feel like talking. And all of those happened before I realized you have the right to know what's going on" her mom took her hand staring at her.
"I'm sorry that I lied to you about dad, mom. That I didn't let you know that I've been going to him for a long time now. But I was mad because you left him and let him be like that. You didn't even tried to tell us or me. And then the thing between Lauren and I happened and it made me question things. Because I see Lauren in you and that I am dad. I was so scared because I'm afraid I'd be like him. Because just like dad's love for you, I love Lauren so much too" she confessed, she paused trying to see if her mom is mad or whatever but her expression is just like her dad.
"I started to have an idea, that maybe I know how dad felt. Because I saw it all, how dad begged to be with us again. But I am wrong mom, maybe me and dad have something in common. Youe case is different. Because all along dad knew your reason, he knows, he understand without the need of asking you. And that's my problem, I didn't try to see things in Lauren's perspective, our case is different. And I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry if I had those doubts and thoughts about you. I was wrong, and I'm trying to to make things right. I've learned my lessons and I know I still have a lot to learn" she sobbed, her mom pulled her in a hug and she rested her head on her mom's shoulder hugging her back.
"Oh honey. I understand you. Maybe I was disappointed but I was never mad at you. I know you struggle a lot to feel wanted and needed. I saw much you needed Lauren which is a great thing and scary at the same time. Because I know you guys love each other so much, I always see it. The way you two look at each other, the small things you do that may seem unimportant but it is what shows that you two love each other so much. But mija sometimes love isn't enough sometimes" she pulled away smiling at her mom who looks taken aback and staring confused at her.
"You and das sounded so much alike. He said the same thing" she grinned
"You mean?" The surprised in her mom's expression made Camila nod furiously.
"Yes mom" she said and her mom hugged tight.
"I'm so proud of you and your dad Karla" she said sniffing.
"Thank you mom. I'm learning from the bests" she said closing her eyes feeling the hug.
"You are strong honey. If you and Lauren are meant to be together, no fight, no break up, distance or time can break you apart. Your hearts would find its way back to each other if you guys are meant to be" she said and wiped Camila's tears away.
"I love you mommy" she said.
"I love you too" her mom replied kissing her forehead lightly.
There are a lot of things we still don't know. No matter how old you are you're always learning something new everyday if you pay attention. Maybe Camila's doesn't know a lot of things before but right now she's learning. Even though she got knocked down before she learned how to stand up and fight back she still wouldn't change any of it. Finally she's happy of what's happening even though she and Lauren broke up.
A/N: I hope I gave my characters justice
